One of the Furry Ones
by Tilly in Pompeii
Summary: Enjoy your favorite bounty hunter extraordinaire in a rewrite of One for the Money as an Urban Fantasy/Paranormal Romance. Rewrite features Babe. Rating for language currently, will change in later chapters. Please read first A/N in chapter one.
1. The Beginning of the Tail End

**A/N: This is probably the only note that will be helpful to read. I love a good urban fantasy or paranormal romance and well, I love Steph, so I combined the two to write a story for myself. Delicious, right? Anyway, it would probably be beneficial to you readers to be familiar with the Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs because I use mostly her versions of the supernaturals, but it certainly isn't necessary as I don't use any of those characters. Moving on, One of the Furry Ones is a rewrite of the first book but as a different genre as well as a Babe 'centricity'. Lots of the plot and happenings will be very similar, if not perfectly following the book, at least to start off with. As I get further into the book, there will be much more deviation so if you're bored now with the similarities, just hang in there. It will get a lot more interesting once the other supes get introduced. This fic is un-betaed as it is written for myself. I'm only posting because I've put a lot of effort into it. Also, UF/PNR has become quite big and I thought some others might enjoy.**

**So review if you hate it, review if you love it, review if you want more, review if you think I'm following the book too closely so I know you didn't read the above note (wink wink), or don't review at all!**

**Bon appetit! I hope you enjoy our favorite little Jersey girl in the big bad world of the supernatural.**

**All of the characters you know and love were borrowed from the lovely Ms. Evanovich. They will be returned to her in due time.**

**

* * *

**

**Will I like this story?: Well I dunno... However, this first chapter is _not_ representative of this story or my writing. If you want to quickly know if it is worth reading, check out my one shot collection titled It's Just a One Shot Away as they are all scenes from this story that I chose not to include. They aren't spoilery and they showcase this story much better than this first chapter. Why is this first chapter different than the rest? I followed the original book very closely for this first chapter because so much is conveyed about Stephanie as well as the plot and it was important not to miss something.**

**

* * *

**

**One of the Furry Ones**

Chapter One: The Beginning of the Tail End**  
**

THERE ARE SOME oddities about me that growing up I was discouraged from ever speaking of; my sometimes tail and Joseph Morelli are just two of them.

Morelli and I were born and bred in a nosy little part of Trenton often referred to as the burg. Each family is the same as the next unless you count the few Hungarians and Germans that got sucked in to offset inbreeding. The burg is Italian. New York City has Chinatown and Trenton has the burg. Not only are the families carbon copies, but so are the homes and tiny yards. Despite the burg's proud Italian dominance, the only respectable cars driven and owned in the burg are American. Just ask my dad. I'm pretty sure the only time we hear him talk anymore is when one of the neighbors disgraces the burg with their German cars. I suppose the burg isn't the worst place to live if you had to live in Trenton anyway, a store selling meat and Tastykakes on every other corner really brightens the place up.

I suppose I should step back for a minute and confess that I was, and still am, a burg freak. Not in the sense that I was obsessed with the burg, but in that I was the anomaly and my mother never let me forget it. I don't really fit in with the _other_ side either because, you see, no one has ever met any one quite like me. I was a unique little snowflake that mother nature wished she'd used a flamethrower on. I'm a werecoyote I guess, but you won't hear me saying that to the wolves. They wouldn't want me claiming a were title. More accurately, I'm a walker. When my mother first discovered a little coyote in the crib instead of a baby, she spent hours researching what disease I had. Okay, actually she fainted first but then she worked toward making me normal. The first step towards a cure is diagnosis. She still hasn't found that cure but she did find something else that made her faint. I get mistaken for a skinwalker fairly often, but really, where would a baby find a coyote pelt to wear?

One might think that having a super sensitive nose and above average night vision in addition to the ability to shift would be a good thing. You'd be wrong though, _dead_ wrong. Being a walker only gets me into trouble with the supernatural community and my mother. Being different isn't something to bring up at the dinner table or ever. After all, Harriet Gotler's daughter Helena doesn't take her clothes off and shift into a coyote so why should I.

I could never do anything right growing up. Morelli was another point of contention with my mother. I didn't see him often because he was a couple years older than me. My mother was quick to make rules about him anyway though. "Stephanie, stay far away from those Morelli boys. You can't trust them. I hear stories about the things they trick foolish girls like you into doing when they get them alone."

I made a foolish mistake on my own then by questioning her and bringing _it_ up. "What kinds of things do the girls do? Do they shift for them like I can?"

My mother had sucked in a sharp breath and crossed herself. "Even worse things. And what did a _tell_ you? Never speak of your condition, not to anyone!"

From then on, Morelli became forbidden to me along with my coyote. The forbidden intrigued me and I didn't really care for being bossed around. At the innocent age of six, Morelli fooled me for the first time in what was going to be a long series of foolishness for me. He promised to teach me a new game if I followed him into his father's garage. I didn't need much convincing. Games were fun and boys hardly ever cried or tattled if they got hurt playing with me.

His garage was homey if you were a cockroach. I suppose the Morelli boys liked it just fine too. The light was dim and a thick, untouched layer of smegma covered the windows. Guests weren't taken for visits in this garage so there was no point in Mama Morelli cleaning. The air smelled foul even to a human nose. My nose had been so overwhelmed that I had teared up. I'd sooner die than let Morelli see me cry though. The garage wasn't meant to hold the family's cars. The garage instead was a place for unmentionables. Para Morelli helped his sons learn the error of their ways here with his belt and the boys learned the fine art of self pleasure. Morelli had picked the perfect place to teach me his new game.

Maybe it was overconfidence in my canine ability to tell when someone was pulling a fast one on me, but even after taking in the dank garage I still wanted to know what game we'd be playing. "How do you play?"

Morelli had given me his signature smirk that he hadn't quite perfected yet. "Spread your legs apart. We're playing train. You be the tunnel and I'm the train." He didn't know my aversion to bossiness or rules yet so I'd let him off easy and just did what he'd said. I spread my legs as far apart as I could with the skirt my mother'd forced on me this morning. If I was going to be the tunnel, I was gonna be the best dang tunnel ever. Morelli had dropped to his hands and knees quickly, probably thinking I'd catch on and prevent him from sneaking a peak.

Maybe this says something about me. I'd trusted him despite my mother's warning and I'd let him stick his head up my skirt. Naive and stupid. I think it says more about _him_ though. I'd learned my lesson for the time being because I'd never gotten a turn to be the train but he kept right on looking up skirts.

Ten years later, at sixteen, Joe Morelli had gotten better at sneaking up skirts. Those years alone or with other foolish girls in his garage had gifted him fast hands and clever fingers. He'd also perfected his smirk and added a swagger to his step. He'd grown into the quintessential bad boy. At times he'd have eyes like milk chocolate, and anyone who knew me could tell you, I _loved_ chocolate. I'd always been told chocolate is bad for dogs but they weren't the authorities on the subject that I would eventually be.

Between my mother and my own uniqueness, making and keeping friends wasn't easy for me. I did have, and still do, a best friend. Her name's Mary Lou. She knows all my secrets except the biggie so when she overheard someone say that Joe had a tongue like a lizard, she immediately told me.

I didn't really know what she expected me to say though. I sometimes have a tongue that's more than like a coyote's and it wasn't so bad. Maybe Morelli was a werelizard. I was pretty sure that he was just plain chocolate though so I had to assume what it was had to also do with his fixation on what was under a ladies skirt.

Mary Lou had looked me in the eyes and gave me a hard look because she knew I was bad at taking advice. "I also heard that if he gets you alone, you're done for. There's no going back. He's got you."

I also knew a little secret about Mary Lou, she was a drama queen. She knew that I knew being alone with Morelli was a big disappointment. I decided to play along though since she's my best friend. "What do you mean 'it's too late'? You don't mean that he _rapes_ them do you?"

I don't think Mary Lou had been listening all that closely. She relied too much on body language and tone. "Yes! What? _No_, Steph, _no_. What are you even thinking? I meant that he's like cat-nip. You know, irresistible?"

I'm pretty sure this is about the time I snorted. Those silly little cat and dog phrases get me every time. Morelli was irresistible and you didn't need to be alone with him to get that. I irresisted once already though and fool me once, shame on him... I didn't intend on putting any shame on myself so there would be no round two. "I'm a virgin and he's ways older than me," I whispered to her, like it wasn't common knowledge. "I'm sure that I'll be plenty safe."

Mary Lou apparently knew the man's psyche better than I did. "Oh _please_. Like that is going to turn him off. If anything it will make him more likely to get you, Steph! A virgin and a challenge all wrapped up in you."

It turned out Mary Lou was right. It never would have happened if on some subconscious level that I'd realized Mary Lou had told me not to let Joe have his way with me. Joe, that good for _nothing_ Morelli, paid me a visit in the bakery I'd just started working at. The one thing I love more than chocolate was cake. I was surrounded by cake and doughnuts in Tasty Pastry when he charmed away my virginity behind the chocolate éclairs counter. It was all wonderful, you know, the cake, the chocolate and somehow the sex until he told me that he'd joined the navy, fixed his clothes and strolled out with a chocolate-chip cannoli. That rat bastard. Fool me twice, shame on me. I was pissed about this turn of events. Fool me thrice was going to be payback on him. Later that night after I'd shifted, I paid his yard a visit. I dug up everything I could, not that he'd care but it made me feel better for a little while.

I only felt better for a few days. It really began to fester during his three year absence. Another thing about me that my mother doesn't like is that I'm impulsive. I usually act on good instincts and I'd like to think I did this time too. I was in a great mood on my way to go shopping. My father had loaned me his Buick which I still see as another stroke of good fortune, sturdy American made car that it was. Morelli was standing in front of Giovichinni's Meat Market looking even better than I'd remembered when an angel possessed me. I jammed the gas pedal down, jumping the curb. He was facing away from me so even he couldn't vouch that this was an on purpose accident, another stroke of luck. Anyway, the car barely grazed him and he went flying. Calmly, I put the car into park and got out to make sure I'd done some damage worthy of twice fooled. "Are you okay?"

He groaned while looking down my shirt. "My leg. It hurts."

I couldn't have held back my smile if I tried. "Good." I skipped back to the Buick and drove off to the mall.

I've grown up since then and haven't needed to run over a single other person. Morelli got to be my first at a lot of things I suppose.

* * *

AT NIGHT TIME, Trenton was a relatively desolate place. I know because I'm out there usually roaming the streets looking for a nice place to run and stretch my four legs, maybe even chase a rabbit. I mostly stick to areas I'm familiar with now. It's hard to ask for directions back home when you have a snout and slobbery tongue. People tend to frown upon asking for directions while naked too, which is my other option. I'd learned a long time ago that letting my coyote out every night was best for my mental health. People started looking at me funny when I'd gone a few days without. The walls always seemed to start to close in on me and all of the oxygen got sucked from the room. Worst of all was that one of my eyes would start twitching. During the daytime I stick to being just a regular human. Everyone has a gun around here, except me, and a coyote in the city would be a free for all.

It was August, hot, sticky, tar melting August. The air conditioner in my apartment was broken so I was driving around in my Mazda Miata convertible. The top was down, the air was blasting and I was belting out the words to some of my favorite summer songs. It was the perfect way to spend the day. I was seriously considering shaving my head bald however. My mop of shoulder-length brown hair was curlier than ever. The wind had turned it into a monster of its own, a big mass of snarls and frizz. I wasn't sure who in my family to blame for inheriting this mess. I pushed my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose for the thousandth time, slightly swerving into the other lane as I also shook my hair out of my sharp blue eyes. I liked my eyes. I didn't get them from anyone in my family though, they were a gift from being different. They were the coyote's gift and thankfully they're both the same color.

My day was about to hit a sour note. It was Sunday. Sunday meant dinner in the burg with my parents. I'd made the mistake of calling earlier to see if it was something I liked; honestly it didn't matter though. I didn't get a choice whether or not I was going. Tonight was pot roast night. I really hoped I made it in time before dad got seconds or there wouldn't be anything left. He and I both eat like football players. The only difference is I metabolize and he doesn't.

Apparently pot roast with my mother wasn't punishment enough for speeding a little. When I glanced up in the rear-view mirror I saw what was my current least favorite person, Lenny Gruber. He looked just like his name sounded, gross. He was a few cars behind me in a tan sedan and I hoped that he hadn't seen me yet but I knew that wasn't my luck. I let a growl slip and banged the dash a few times. I wasn't just another faceless person to Gruber, we'd gone to the same high school. Slimy, disgusting Lenny was exactly the same now as he was back in high school. I had the misfortune of still being acquainted because I was a tad late on my Miata payments. Lenny was the repo company.

When I'd bought the car about six months ago, I hadn't planned on making late payments. I also hadn't planned on losing my gorgeous apartment and season tickets to the Rangers. I'd held onto those tickets longer than my apartment. I love hockey. The food, the adrenaline and the cute butts. I'm at a loss as to which I like best, okay no, it's the food. But then out of blue I got laid off. The freaking nerve. I had no money hence my need to troll around all day to cool off.

Lenny was following me, I was sure of it now. _No one_ followed me if I didn't want them to. I decided to take this opportunity to speak with him before he just took my car from my parents' curb. Braking hard in the middle of the street, I put the car into park and threw my door open. Lenny and I were going to have a chat and I planned on using all my Jersey attitude. Several cars beeped at me as I stalked over to Lenny's car. I waved them my favorite Italian hand gesture and continued on.

"Stephanie Plum, is that you?" Gruber questioned giggling to himself like he was clever and not some nasty little bug I was about to squash. "_What_ are the odds I'd see you out here? And like this!"

His window was down so I laid both of my hands on the sill leaning in. I wasn't a particularly dominant coyote. Okay, that's a blatant lie. I'm a complete sissy but I can fake tough guy right up there with Bruce Willis and even the guys with a nose for our hierarchies have trouble noticing the fake. I knew batting my eyelashes and cooing at him would get me nothing more than propositioned so I tried bad ass instead. "Lenny, you don't want to mess with me today. I have to eat dinner with my family tonight. If you cause me to be stranded there it would be the _lowest_ of low." I gave him a good glare and thought about taking up my hit and run history again if I still had my car after today.

He had the guts to smile at me knowing that if I caused any more of a scene my mother would complain me to death. "I dunno, Steph. What possible reason would I have not to take your car? It is my _job _after all."

I ran my hand over my face, hoping to calm down before I reached though the open window and strangled him. I haven't strangled anyone yet. "What do you want?" I asked him desperately.

"I'd really need to see you naked first before I can commit to any sort of deal"

I sighed, I knew this trick. It was why I didn't flirt with him to begin with. You'd have to dump acid in my eyes before I would even consider letting Gruber touch me. Maybe no one would notice if I gave him a black eye real quick. I glanced around but we were way to close to the house to risk it. "Just let me keep the car for tonight, so I can escape my parents'. You aren't _that_ heartless are you?"

"Nice try. I've been following you for days trying to get it back. There's no way I'm risking another day."

_Damn_. I hadn't noticed him before and my nose told me he wasn't bluffing. I must be sneakier in nature than I thought if I'd managed to lose him so well. That or selling back everything I own has taken me on an erratic and unpredictable path.

"The only way you're keeping that car longer is if I get a little gratification out of it. Maybe you can put that pretty little mouth of yours to a better use than talking."

I'm pretty sure I just barfed a little at that suggestion. "You're a pig. Take the car. I'll walk to my parents and back home. Pathetic... I bet the only way you get any is from blackmail."

He looked at me sharply for that comment, _oops_. Maybe if he hadn't been ogling my 36B chest I wouldn't have been pushed to say it. He was pathetic though. My hair had to resemble Medusa's and right now I was dressed up for dinner with my parents. My 5' 7" frame was decked out in black spandex shorts and a men's hockey jersey that went almost to my knees. I was pretty sure I had grown a pimple above my lip while talking to Lenny too, it was just that stressful.

"You aren't a dream yourself right now." Damn. That was low. The booger had personally attacked me and I'll admit that it hurt. "I've read one of your reviews though... we did go to high school together after all so I can make allowances."

I groaned and turned on my heel, returning back to the Miata. It's dangerous going back to my childhood home with low self esteem. I wasn't sure what my mother was going to try and talk me into this time but she was going to be one hundred times more successful now.

A few minutes later I idled in front of the house. Gruber hadn't made me want to bash my head into the steering wheel but returning home did. Home is usually a place of safety, comfort and love to people. It's the place they grew up and it's full of carefree, wondrous memories...or so I'd been told anyway. My childhood home made me want to flee in terror while screaming bloody murder. To make things worse, I was seven minutes late to dinner which meant no pot roast for me.

Right now would be a good time for a pep talk but I couldn't come up with anything so I dragged myself out of the car. I braced myself for battle as I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. My mother had taken to setting me up with various men from the burg without telling me. She's gotten sneaky and has them park their cars a few blocks away now too because after the first few I'd just leave if I suspected anything. I didn't catch any suspicious scents but it wouldn't have mattered if I did because I'd been spotted.

The house was a two-story duplex. Our half was a _delicious_ yellow. It had been that color for forty years and I can assure you that should my mother survive forty more years, it would stay that way. What we had of a front yard had been spruced up with red geraniums. I wonder if my mother knew that they were the favorite pee stop of nearly every dog within a five block radius. She would be horrified if I told her. Mentioning my nose was a no no and the thought that any creature would desecrate her hard work would push her over the edge. If I was desperate for an out, I was going to use it on the off chance that she might faint and I'd be able to make a break for it.

The inside of my parents' home was typical for the burg. The front door opens into the living room, the dining room is in the middle and the kitchen is at the rear of the house. Everyone sleeps and does their business upstairs, after they've fought to get a turn in the bathroom anyway.

Mrs. Markowitz lived next door. She'd painted her half of the duplex lime green because it was all she could afford on her social security. No one spoke of how the two colors clashed and no one brought up citrus, especially not if they wanted dessert.

I'd stalled for too long outside. My mother opened the screen door and poked her head out. "Stephanie! What are you doing? What will the neighbors think?" I wasn't sure what I did this time but I was sure she was about to tell me. "Standing out there when you're already late for dinner. The neighbors will think that you don't want to be here. What if they think it's my cooking! Get in here. Everything is getting cold." I sighed, the pot roast wouldn't be cold because it'd be gone.

In my family we tell time based on what meal it is. Six o'clock _isn't_ six o'clock, it's dinner time. We always eat at six exactly or else the vegetables will be cold and the meat will be dry. Now that I've moved out, I tell time based on when I ate my last doughnut. I can't have a good day anymore without my wake-up Boston Creme.

Once inside, Grandma Mazur made her presence known from behind my mother. "Look at those!" she shrilled while eying my shorts. "Those would look _real_ good on me don't you think? I still have decent legs. Wanna see?" Before I got a chance to answer her, she had her skirt hiked up to the bottom of what I can only describe as bloomers. We all looked down at her legs. I tried to suppress a shudder that threatened to wrack my body. "Nice, huh? I'd be able to show 'em off real good in those shorts. The senor center wouldn't know what hit them!"

Grandma Mazur was my hero until she did something like show me her legs. She was a little bit odd herself, you know, other than the crazy. She'd told me once that her grandfather had been a witch and that a little of his magic had been passed down to her. She couldn't do spells or anything, but she had a knack for making things happen. If she wanted the bathroom first, my father would somehow get locked in his own bedroom or if she wanted to go to the beauty parlor and they had no slots, there would be a last minute cancellation. It came in handy for her, but usually got me into hot water. Grandma Mazur was intent on living life to it's fullest and she was convinced that was how I was living. I was just waiting for my shorts to disappear during dinner and appear on her bed upstairs. I was ready to give her my shorts just to get her to put down her skirt. She might have had sexy legs when she'd been young but she _certainly_ wasn't young now. Her knees were hard and bony. Her wrinkled skin hung off the thin bones. I decided that I wouldn't mind if Grandma Mazur took my shorts, I just wanted to keep my own legs.

Modesty wasn't a big thing for me any more. You get over nudity real quick when your life depends on shifting either to beast or human. Wearing clothes to shift is a big mistake. I'd ended up stuck so badly one time that my mother needed to cut my clothes off of me. I'd been lucky that none of the neighbors had seen or else I'm not sure if a few fingers of whiskey would have been a enough for her after. She'd have needed my head on a wooden spoon.

Based on the groan and look on my father's face, he was either contemplating suicide or murder. Grandma Mazur's antics drove him up the wall but he'd yet to do anything more than make faces. Jail must not have been worth losing home cooked meals because he continued shoveling the remaining pot roast into his mouth.

Two years ago, Grandpa Mazur's soul checked out of his body and took up residence in the castle in the sky. Daddy had envied him every day since Grandma Mazur moved in and never left.

Daddy didn't care that I was different from all of the other little girls. "Pumpkin, you don't want to be like them anyway," he used to tell me. We never talked about it because well, he never really talked anyway, but every once in a while especially when my mother is wearing me down, he'd let me know that he was proud. Grandma Mazur's witchiness gave him heartburn though. Especially since we didn't know how much one forth witch blood would add to her lifespan. Once in a blue moon when I was early for Sunday dinner and he was napping on the couch, he'd wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming that she was immortal. That frightened me a little bit too. I loved my Grandma Mazur, but I wasn't sure how I'd survive the sight of her legs if she got much older.

"You shouldn't be wearing those revealing shorts, Stephanie," my mother chastised as she sat back down to her place on my father's right. What she really meant to say was 'you should know better than wearing that hideous outfit out in public where the neighbors can see you looking sloppy'. I'd worn this outfit hoping she wouldn't invite me back for dinner next week. I'd miss the dessert but I could always buy some Tastykakes to make me feel better. Even Tastykates had trouble making me forget Sunday dinner.

I rolled my eyes in response to her and put what was left of the meal onto my plate. I'd feel better if the vegetables had butter so I cut a huge chunk and smothered my mashed potatoes and peas in it.

"Maybe if you tried to look like a lady and cleaned up a bit you would still be married."

_Ouch_. If it had been the first time she'd said that I might had slowed down my stab, chew, swallow cycle but it was near the thousandth time. I let it roll off me and because she was waiting patiently for a reply, I said, "I don't want to be married. Single is more fun, just ask Grandma. We've both sworn off marriage for the rest of our lives. If we have to, we'll live in sin." I was still feeling a little bit grumpy about missing out on the pot roast so I added, "Plus why would I want to stay married to a guy who was more of a dog than me?"

Grandma Mazur giggled manically, "A dog is too good for him, Stephanie. He was a elephant's tush." She glanced over at my mother quickly to gauge her reaction before continuing. "If I'd known being single was this much fun, I would have divorced your Grandpa Mazur a long time ago and have been a swinger. I was watching the Discovery channel this morning and they had a program on these sex parties and your grandfather would have been a real bore at one of those. I need a man who can keep up with me...well keep it up at all."

My ex-husband wasn't the elephant's tush, he was the sticky poo on it. I'd caught him poking Joyce Barnhardt on our dining room table when I came home from work early one day. I'd been eating a doughnut and hadn't caught their scents in time. There wasn't enough bleach in the world to get the image of the two of them out of my mind.

I was lucky that my coyote had refused him for its mate... A little thing about mating, it's not weird or really any different from marriage. There's just there's no divorce from it. The though of being stuck with my ex still made me shudder and see spots.

My mother chose to ignore most of what I said. "Loretta Buzick's son Ronald is newly divorced and he doesn't know you very well. Do you remember him at all? You could marry him."

I remembered him. I'd also seen him recently enough to know I'd have to be desperate to consider him. He was nearly bald and was rather fat. I also knew that if I didn't put my foot down now, he'd end being a surprise guest next Sunday. "I don't like Ronald. He wouldn't want to marry me anyway. I saw him at the butcher's last week and we got into it because he got me the wrong amount of turkey and I didn't want to pay for what I didn't ask for." That was all made up but it could have been true, he was a butcher after all. Maybe it was shallow of me to judge him based on his looks but the truth was even if I did want to get married again, I'm not sure I could live with a guy that smelled like meat and guts all of the time. It would smell tasty and I might even risky a lick but even I don't sleep with my food.

My mother wasn't giving up on marriage yet. "He's probably not ready yet for marriage anyway. What about Bernie Kuntz? You haven't seen him lately. I ran into him at the dry cleaners and he asked about you. I don't think he was just being polite either. Sometime this week I'll invite him over for cake."

I knew this trick. She'd say cake and hope I wouldn't ask questions or notice that anyone else would be sharing with me. I was also pretty sure with the way my luck was running that she'd already invited him over and that was how she knew he wasn't just being polite. He was fairly harmless so it might be worth the cake... seeing my mother an extra day this week wouldn't be worth it though. "I'm on a diet. I can't eat cake more than once this week and I'm already here today."

She actually snorted. "Stephanie, we both know you'd never say no to cake. And you're not on a diet, I saw those snacks in your car."

Damn, she had eyes like a hawk. Maybe now was a good time to change the subject. "I have some bad news." I really didn't want to tell her, but this would be nothing compared to another arranged marriage.

"You're _pregnant_!" She shrieked looking horrified.

"_What_? _No!_" Alright, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Pregnant and unmarried was a million times worse to her than this. "There's sorta a problem with my job..." Aw, damn again. I chickened out. Whoever said just ripping the band-aid off was better than slowly pealing it off obviously hadn't been a class A coward.

She looked at me confused. "I don't understand. What's the problem? You love your job and its benefits."

The benefits were that every time I took my clothes off to shift when I wasn't at home, someone managed to find them and would steal my underwear but my job let me replace them at a discount. I'd thought about reporting the theft at the police station but I hadn't quite figured out how to explain why my panties weren't on while I visited the local park. "I...uh...don't have a job anymore. I got laid off."

She choked on her drink. "What! How could you manage to lose your job? How are you _ever_ supposed to find another job if they don't want you there?"

I thunked my head off of the table a few times. "I wasn't fired. I was laid off. There's a difference." I had been a lingerie buyer for E.E. Martin in Newark. It wasn't as easy or as glamorous as it sounded but I had been good at it. I was a pro shopper especially with someone else's money.

I think I saw daddy smile a little. He thought the job was beneath me and it probably was, but right now money was money and I needed it. Grandma Mazur loved telling the ladies are the beauty parlor that her granddaughter was in the lingerie business so this was a big blow for her. To make it up to her, I decided to add her name to the Victoria's Secret catalogue mailing list when I got home.

"It doesn't _matter _if there's a difference, either way you're unemployed. How could you do this to me? Unemployed... Next you'll be homeless! What will people say then?"

I was pretty sure that no one would care that I was jobless, unless it was because I hadn't been making payments. I certainly hoped I didn't end up homeless. I'd rather sleep in the park than move in with my parents. I'd never get a turn in the bathroom and there was a better chance I'd give in to my mother's marriage demands.

She would be more concerned about the E.E. Martin scandal than my possible homelessness if she knew what had happened. I'm sure it would be my fault that their mob affiliations were made public this winter. Actually I bet it would be my fault too that they hadn't paid off the mob in the first place. In fact, I bet I even had a hand in the CEO's illegal business practices. E.E. Martin had been sold out to Baldicott, Inc. and I'd been part of their housecleaning. It was really had to win an argument with Ellen Plum especially when you did something that you didn't do. I opted to keep my trap shut and maybe confess to how much I needed a job. "Here's the thing though... I was uh... laid off six months ago."

If I hadn't known my mother was completely human, I might have mistaken her eyes for those of a demon. "_Six_ months! You've been unemployed for _six months_! Have you been living in your car? How could you not tell your _own_ mother?"

My dad gave me a concerned look. "Pumpkin..." He quickly got cut off by an angry glare from my mother.

"Why don't you have a new job? What are you doing all day? You should have a job and a husband yet you have neither. _Why me_?"

Abort! Abort! Cake with Bernie was looking really good about now. I was starting to feel real panicky. When I get panicky I have this terrible habit of word vomiting everything I'm thinking which is usually inappropriate or I start confessing to anything and everything.

"So about that cake later this week, I've decided that I'd really like chocolate cake." I tried latching onto that. Cake was a safe topic. Cake had nothing to do with getting sprayed by an angry skunk when I'd stuck my muzzle in his den earlier this week. "I...uh...what was the question?"

Grandma Mazur apparently didn't catch that I was taking on water fast and would soon sink. "Why are we talking about cake? I wanna know why you got laid off. The nerve of those people. Ellen, drive me to Newark. Stephanie needs to be more assertive. I'll get her job back for her."

I was feeling a little bit dizzy now too. I wouldn't live to a ripe old age if my mother found out about the mob connection. "No! I don't want that job anymore. They didn't appreciate me. I'll find another job. I just need a little bit more time." I had been looking for a job in nearly all of my free time these past few months. I refused to work a drive-thru or anywhere else demeaning. I was overqualified for most jobs but I lacked experience in management so I was in a tight spot. Maybe I could get hired as one of those stunt animals you see in movies...

My father had cleaned his plate and was eying mine a little bit. I really hoped that he didn't ask for anything. I didn't want to bite his head off but I was willing to do just about anything to create a distraction.

"I saw Vinnie yesterday," he started softly. "You know, your cousin. He's looking for someone to fill a position for him. Filing I think. You should call. Maybe work for him temporarily until you find something better." My daddy had worked thirty years for the post office and then retired early. He now was a cabbie part-time. Neither of those jobs required working for a creep.

Maybe dad was just a little sheltered and didn't know that Vinnie was a steamy toilet bowl full of diarrhea. I found it hard to believe he'd send his baby girl to work for Vinnie. Vinnie was a lot like a tapeworm. Actually, he was more like crabs; sneaky, disgusting thing that he was. Vinnie was my second least favorite relative. If you guessed that my mother was contestant number one then you won a shiny new car. I hoped being a relative of his would keep him from trying to get into my pants. Vinnie was best known for his sexual exploits, none of which were normal.

Apparently dizzy, desperate and a stomach full of word vomit was a lethal combination. "How much would I get paid?"

My father looked thoughtful. "Vinnie's cheap. Probably minimum wage."

Sold! To the freak of nature who really wants to keep her cute Miata and crummy apartment. Vinnie was after all, only second on my shit list so any job would be better than living here.

"Oh, how wonderful!" my mother was suddenly looking pleased as punch. "You'll work close enough to be able to come home for lunch everyday. And you're cake date with Bernie won't need to be canceled after all."

I really needed to console myself with whatever was for dessert. Once I was done with dessert, I was going to find the hedge trimmers in the garage and I was cutting my tongue out. That way I would never talk myself into something like this ever again.

* * *

IT WAS FINALLY time for me to go home. I started getting that sick, panicky feeling again when I realized my car might not be waiting for me. I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers before I stepped out of my mother's lair. The Miata had never looked so beautiful. My legs almost gave out as I thanked whatever higher power had convinced Lenny Gruber that today was not the day to mess with me. My mother had been right when she saw that the passenger seat had been loaded down with snacks. I would have been in a real sour mood if Lenny had taken those.

I needed a quick run before returning to my dingy apartment so I left the burg and headed toward the wooded park that had the running paths. Kids thought they were pretty clever and bad ass when they broke all of the new lamps that the city had just put in to light the paths. Apparently those late night joggers didn't feel safe in the dark from predators. They'd rather see the guy who attacked them. I didn't mind though because I was a predator too, just not the kind they were fearful of. The dark was much better for how I would be traveling.

I parked my car at the far end of the lot and hopped out. I was feeling pretty good now that I probably had a job and wasn't in the same house as my mother. I walked to the edge of the tree line and took a quick look around. I also took a deep breath because my nose was better than my eyes. I didn't see, hear or smell anyone so I began stripping. The top was still down on the Miata so I just threw my clothes into the back seat.

"Panties, stay." I really hoped they were still there when I got back. I couldn't afford new clothes without giving up some of my powered doughnuts and they were a really cute pair too.

I started to shift. I'm a pretty fast shifter unlike werewolves. My shift also doesn't hurt at all. It's just a tingly feeling that runs down my body. I don't notice much during a change other than claws growing from my toes and fingers and the hair sprouting. I figured that was a pretty good deal because I'm sure feeling what happened to my bones and face would be a lot worse.

Once down on four paws I set to work terrorizing anyone on the running path. I felt really good lopping along every once in a while stopping to see who'd been running since my last visit. I didn't really care about who had been here but I didn't have much else to do. There was always a chance that I might catch Lenny out here alone and be able to give him a real good bite in the ass. I kept up my hopeful thoughts throughout the rest of my jaunt. I got a running start and jumped the side of my car, landing in the back seat.

That rotten panty stealing bastard! All that was left of my clothes was my jersey and shorts. No shoes, no socks, no bra and certainly no panties. What irritated me the most was the whoever was stealing my stuff wasn't leaving a scent which meant they weren't human and probably knew that I was different. I sighed then shifted back, deciding to leave my charming panty Romeo a note next time. I decided to best convey my message, I could write something along the lines of 'touch my clothes again, I'll cut your fingers off'.

* * *

THE BEEPING OF my alarm came way too early. I'd forgotten to shut my bedroom curtains last night so sunlight was spilling across my bed blinding me. Blindness combined with an already scorching hot room was a pretty shitty way to wake up. I considered hitting the snooze button but decided against it. I'd need the morning to put on my game face for my job interview with Vinnie, if you could call showing up and demanding the job an interview. My vision had returned and the numbers on my clock nearly gave me a heart attack. I'd apparently been sleep walking, or at least sleep-hitting-the-snooze-button. I planned on getting up at seven this morning and now I was getting a two hour late start. Dinner with my family tends to have a vampiric, life draining effect on me.

I blinked a few more times before I eased myself up and stretched. If I dragged out my pathetic morning stretch long enough, I could usually make it to the bathroom without tripping or convincing myself that I needed just a few more minutes of sleep. I stood up and started carefully making my way through the obstacle course of dirty clothes to my bathroom. I glanced up at the mirror and let out a brief scream. There was no way the person staring back at me was really me. My hair couldn't be that bad, right? I touched the tip of my nose making sure that the mirror monster did the same. Ugh, it was me. It was too early for a hair battle so I grabbed a hair tie and did my best to tame the tangles back into a respectable ponytail.

Finishing up my bathroom business after defeating my hair, I moved into the kitchen to sooth another beast. My stomach has a more fearsome growl than my coyote most days. It likes cake, doughnuts and assorted other sweets best. I pretended to contemplate the idea of eating something healthy for breakfast by checking the refrigerator. No burglars had broken in last night and stocked it, so it looked like my only breakfast choices were in my snack bag that I'd purchased yesterday. I caught myself skipping over to my two person dining table where the shopping bag sat. What can I say? The thought of those powered doughnuts really made this morning cheerful. Now powered doughnuts are certainly no Boston Cremes, but they were good enough after the fiasco that was last night.

I plopped myself down onto of the table and began devouring the doughnuts. My legs were swinging back and forth and I might have been humming Bad Moon Rising. Most girls wants diamonds or designer purses. I, on the other hand, could be bought with a doughnut. Actually, a new purse might new nice... I'd need new shoes after yesterday's debacle though. You'd need to kill me to get another diamond on me though. Then again I wouldn't put it past my ex to be cheap enough to have proposed with a fake. I frowned slightly then licked the power off each of my fingers.

After finishing the last of my doughnuts, I walked over to my open window to get a feel for the hellish outside temperature. I stuck my head out the window and was hit by two nasty revelations; one, it was hotter than it was yesterday and I was pretty sure I'd need to walk around in less than a swimsuit to stay cool, and two, my car was missing from the lot. That no good, piece of slimy three day old take-out took my Miata while I was sleeping. Lenny better hope that I don't see him for the next century... I might just invite him to dinner with my parents.

There were no more doughnuts to make me feel better so I took to yelling explicative out the window. "Lenny, you dirty motherfucker! You shit for brains car thief!" Some weight lifted off my chest after venting until one of my senior citizen neighbors poked their head out of their window.

"Stephanie? Is that you yelling? Are you having one of those mental break downs again? Maybe you could keep it down until Jeopardy is over, I'm trying to hear the clues."

Old people, how selfish. No more doughnuts and now no more yelling. It was Monday too and I wasn't sure if I was ready for a whole week on this. Just my luck. This day was starting to look like a repeat performance on last night for shitiness.

I psyched myself up a bit for how great getting a job that paid money would be and decided that it would be best to completely tame my hair. My shower lasted long past the hot water. I was actually shivering as I stepped out. My shower would be the only time all day that I wouldn't be drenched in sweat unless Vinnie's gaping chest cavity chills the room as much as it does me. Vinnie wasn't worth putting much effort into past not being completely horrifying anyway. I brushed my hair, blow dried and added some gel to completely my sass look. Today would be an au natural day because not even my water proof make-up would survive the outside. I put on a black skirt that was just a tad too short to be appropriate for a work setting and started searching for a shirt that would match, look somewhat respectable and keep me cool. A short sleeve white v-neck seemed to be my only choice. Pitt stains would be least noticeable in white, right? I was sure Vinnie would point out anything and everything wrong with me when I arrived, just like I would for him.

I didn't like living alone all that much, it comes from the pack mentality of us canids. I love being independent though and frankly my family was the worst so I settled on having a pet as a roommate. It turns out I was a terrible roomie. Dogs couldn't stand me, they'd growl constantly or hide whenever I was near them. Cats, well, I didn't want one of them. A fish would probably have been more my speed, but I wanted something cute and furry. Instead, I got Rex, a hamster. Rex and I got along pretty well, he'd sleep during the day and ignore me except for when I fed him. He stayed up all night squeaking on his wheel. After the first few weeks, I was able to ignore the squeaking and actually sleep.

Before I left the apartment, I grabbed the box of hamster nuggets off of the kitchen counter and nearly pressed my face against the bars of Rex's happy hamster prison. He was asleep in his soup can as I predicted. I dropped a few of the nuggets into his bowl and waited. Rex could have been dead for all I knew, or he was utterly unimpressed with his meal selection. I shook the box a bit to see if he was at least still with me. One of his beady, black up flicked open. Ruh-roh, someone was a grumpy hamster. When I chose furry over scaly, I thought their might be some cuddling or other interaction involved. The only interaction Rex gave me were bi-weekly hand bites when I risked lifting him out of his cage to clean.

I locked up my apartment and took the elevator down to the lobby. _Hey_, I got a late night run in last night, no need to take the stairs and strain myself. I had one foot out of the lobby doors when I realized there was no way in hell that money was worth walking to Vinnie's place of business.

Three blocks down St. James there was a used car lot. As I walked there, I couldn't help but think of my poor Miata with Lenny behind the wheel. Blue Ribbon Used Cars had never looked more glorious when I finally got there. Even better was the $500 Nova sitting at the front of the lot. Maybe I wasn't as unlucky as I thought, I crossed my fingers just in case. The Nova wasn't the prettiest car they had. Hell, I wasn't even sure it was a car except that they assured me that they only sold used cars here. I haggled with the wussy attendant for only a few seconds when he gave in and offered to trade me the masterpiece for my TV, VCR and microwave. So long entertainment and apartment cooked meals. Oh boy, it was going to be a long, _long_ day.

I hopped into the Nova after emptying my apartment of all valuable items and went straight to Vinnie's afraid that I might have to shell out more dough for gas if I dawdled. My mother had been kind enough to write out instructions on how to get there from her house which was even less helpful than it sounds. There was no way she was going to trick me into starting this little treasure hunt by driving near her house. I found the building fairly easily despite crummy directions and parked up the street on Olden at the first available parking space. I clambered out of the car and noticed right away that it was already leaving an oil spot of the pavement. Cripes, I just couldn't catch a break. I sprinted back toward Vinnie's before someone could take note of my 'new', hazardous car and call my mother with the embarrassing news.

Giant letters proclaiming Vincent Plum Bail Bonding Company hung on a sign above the door. I was proud for a moment that Vinnie had actually come up with a name was wasn't offensive. My own bad mood squashed that momentary insanity and I was left thinking how conceited Vinnie was in naming a business after himself that unfortunate others might have to work at. I certainly wouldn't be telling anyone I worked at Vincent Plum Bail Blah Blah Blah unless I was looking for someone to take another knock at my self-esteem. Tiny letter under the business name claimed that it was open twenty-four hours. Vinnie had another thing coming if he thought I'd be filing at night with him.

I tried to sneak a peak inside through the window. I wasn't all that excited to possibly come face to face with a criminal honestly. I can act real tough but on the inside I'm all vanilla pudding. I had been a while since I last peed and I didn't want to embarrass myself either. I couldn't see anyone through the window but I could see a small, dumpy lobby. Vinnie was a cheapskate all right. Everything, including the carpet, looked like it had been bought at a yard sale.

I removed myself from the window and started to pull the door open before I froze. Something was off. _Something_ was making the hairs on my neck and arms stand on end. I took a deep breath and immediately recognized the smell, vampire. Vampires have a special smell about them. It isn't quite as 'death and decay' as a corpse might smell, but it was definitely along those lines. I didn't mind vampires much, I got along as well with them as I got along with everyone else which probably wasn't saying much.

There are a lot of misconceptions about vampires and honestly, I don't know all that much about them. I know they heal quickly, just like the weres do, and that they drink blood to survive but everything else is a mystery. Weres, vamps, witches, the fey, you name it, pretty much shut me out of their communities. I'm a misfit who doesn't have a group of furry, undead or otherwise pals to hang around with.

I opened the door a little more cautiously this time. The little bell chimed above the door and the secretary at the desk looked up at me for a moment then returned to whatever she was doing. I watched her inhale deeply and realize I wasn't as human as I appeared either. She looked confused but apparently deemed me no threat. I stepped into the lobby and looked around. It was as gloomy on the inside as it had appeared from the window.

The vampire had a name placard perched on her desk. It read Connie Rosolli. I was just as confused about why she was slumming it here as she was about my otherness. She didn't glance up again, waiting for me to speak. She had, however, stuck a finger between two teeth as she stared into a compact mirror. Huh, I guess vampires do have a reflection. She smelt like a homey mortuary that had just burned a little cinnamon as if to attempt to cover up the fact that everyone there was either dead or dying.

"Hi." I started lamely. "I'm Stephanie Plum." Her head jerked up at this as she gave me a pitying look. I guess she liked Vinnie as much as I did. "I'm here to see Vinnie. He's my cousin."

She sighed before giving me a toothy smile. "Are you sure you want to see him? I could probably help you out with whatever you need better than he can." She tilted her head. "I'm Connie by the way."

"It would be great if you could help me and I didn't have to see that turd today." I laughed taking a chance based on her previous reaction. I was rewarded with a full on beam from her. So far vampires were turning out to be more welcoming than my furry cousins. "My dad said Vinnie needed someone to do filing for him. I'm, ah, desperate."

Connie looked thoughtful for a moment. She was different than the elegant vampires I was used to seeing. Connie was, well, big. A full figured lady most definitely. She has shoulder length black hair that had been teased to the point of no return. There was no doubt about her Italian heritage. Mother would be so proud in Vinnie's choice of secretary provided she never knew about the blood sucking part. "I'm sorry sweetie. We just filled that job, I was trying to remember if we had any other possible jobs for you." She looked toward the closed door at the end of the lobby then back at me conspiratorially. "Just between you and me, that job was crappy anyway. Desperate doesn't cover wanting that job. Minimum wage and all day on you knees, how _ridiculous_. If you're going to get back to spend the day wrinkling clothes and hurting those little knobby knees of yours, you should at least find someone who would pay you better. Run while you still can honey. Once Vinnie gets his talons in you, there's no hope."

I wondered what she meant by that. There had to be a pretty good explanation for why someone, especially her type of someone, who clearly disliked Vinnie was still working here. I decided to break out the sob story that has become my life. Maybe she could think a little harder and let me know if any of her... friends were hiring. "My car just got repossessed. I got a new one that is a toaster on four wheels. I had to give up my freaking TV to get it. My mother might make me move in with her if my life keeps going with way." Uh, oh. I could feel a real tear start coming on. "I'd never get a turn in the bathroom."

Connie frowned then gave me the up and down, making me a little self conscious and a lot creeped out. She must have sensed my discomfort because when she met my eyes I got a 'don't be stupid' glare. I remembered her comment about my knees and felt myself flush a bit which drew her attention before she made whatever point had been necessary to catalogue my stellar bod. "Listen, I'm not sure if you're cut out for this, being the scrawny thing you are, but maybe you can convince Vinnie to let you do skip tracing. You'd make a lot of money if you're good at it"

Money? I could practically feel my ears perking. "Money would be nice. How much?"

I could tell Connie was hesitant of the idea of me chasing after a skip but I could also tell she was gunning for me. Maybe desperation is making me more personable. "You'd get ten percent of whatever the original bond was." Connie glanced at the closed door again. I breathed in and caught the faint smell of sour sweat and week old socks. Eau du Vinnie. He could probably hear us and just didn't want to visit.

Connie jerked open the top drawer of her desk with a grunt. It must be stuck pretty good if even her strength was tried by it. Then again, cavemen weren't the best wood workers known. Connie handed me a thick manila folder. "This one just skipped yesterday. He was a big one too, bail was one hundred grand. You'd get ten of that if you found him and delivered him to our boys in blue." She sat forward in her chair, anxious for me to make a decision. I hoped I wasn't about to become her entrainment.

My heart sped up at the thought of ten thousand dollars in my bank account. My nine dollars and thirty seven cents wouldn't be so lonely with all that cash. I must have looked like I was about to pass out because Connie was out of her chair faster than I could track then she was by my side. Her hands hovered near my elbow, ready to steady me should I collapse. I took a few deep breaths. "Thanks. I think I'm good now." I gave her a weak smile. "So, ten thousand... really? Vinnie didn't bail out a sociopath did he?" My definition of sociopath probably wouldn't match with hers, but I trusted her judgment on this based on her previous hesitance.

Connie had taken the opportunity while near me to try and make a better guess at what I was. She looked less curious and more frustrated this time. "Well, he's no Charlie Manson. You'd get paid the big bucks for this one because usually the more expensive the bail, the less they want to be dragged back. Sometimes skips can be a little aggressive and might shoot at you or pull a knife. But that's no big deal and doubt it happens all that much. We've kept all of our employees so far." If she was trying to make me feel sick again to cop another good sniff, it was working. "Umm, that one is local though so he shouldn't be too bad. Morty Beyers has even done some of the work already! It should be easy money for you."

I felt like I was missing something important from what she'd just told me. Whoa, whoa, whoa! "Morty Beyers? Why did he do some of the work? Why isn't _he_ here? I thought you said no one has died yet."

She gave me a sly look at the dead comment and I rolled my eyes. "He's still with you living, no worries. He busted his appendix last night." I really hoped that wasn't a euphemism for shot in the gut. "He's at St. Francis enjoying a little vacation."

There wasn't much I could do but take her word that it actually was an unfortunate but _natural_ accident as apposed to some heinous attack. Taking Beyers place and using all of the work he'd done _and_ getting all of the money for it was a dream come true. Ten grand, how perfect would that be. It was the perfect amount to make me forget about the chances of getting shot or stabbed. I wasn't blessed with quick healing, so either of those would be a bitch and I was a total cry baby when I got hurt. A paper cut has been known to make me bawl.

"You could _totally_ catch him." Connie was apparently giving me a pep talk while I was slowly deteriorating. "If it turns out that it's too hard, then the worst thing that could happen is you quit and lose out on the money."

Well that didn't sound too bad. I was really good at quitting when things got difficult. Tucking my tail between my legs was something I could do quite literally. Maybe this would be even easier for me now that I thought about it. Connie didn't know that I had an advantage to track people with, and I would happily play bloodhound and sniff out ten grand. Just try and stop me. "Morty Beyers, he didn't have any _special_ traits that helped him find skips did he?"

Connie looked excited that I was admitting to my otherness and that she'd possibly gained another clue about me. "Beyer's only skills were hardheadedness and the inability to get rid of him. I bet if you put your nose to the grindstone, you could find him in no time." She winked at me while making her little inside joke. If Connie kept this up, she might just get a Christmas card from me if I had enough money to buy stamps by then.

"I'm in." I breathed out hoping that this isn't going to be another Stephanie grade disaster. A little disaster was okay, but I couldn't have another crazy one this year. "Where do I sign up?"

"You'll need the rat's authorization. I'll call him out of his hidey hole for you." She stood up and took a huge and most likely unnecessary breath. "Vinnie! Get out here!" _Yikes_, for the first time since I've been here she'd started looking a little vampirey.

We both heard a crash and Connie smirked at me. "I bet he either had his ear pressed up against the door hoping we were telling secrets about him, or we caught him at a bad time with either his hand or a girlie mag."

Vinnie scuttled out of his office looking flustered. I was glad his good looks had skipped over me. Vinnie was a middle aged bean pole covered in sewage. He had this boneless look about him that really complimented his skinny, overly tall frame if, say, one were into overgrown weasels. He liked his women easy, his men hung and his animals quacking.

Vinnie ran a hand over his slick backed hair as he eyed the two of us. Apparently family didn't get a friendly welcome.

"Stephanie wants to go after a skip to earn a little cash." Connie said slowly watching him as he shifted and fidgeted.

"No!" He cried out without any thought. Connie gave him an even darker look and I thought I saw a little silver flecking her brown eyes. "_Wait_, I mean it's too dangerous for her. Look at her, Connie." It was clear who wore the pants at Vincent Plum Bail Bond Bullcrap. "Steph has no background in any of our requirements. She's never been in security and, _thank God_, she hasn't been in law enforcement."

Vinnie was making up those rules so he wouldn't have to deal with me. Lies also have a special smell. If you're good with your nose like I am, you can smell that sickly sweet, rotting smell that comes with a lie. The only downside to that is when the people truly believe the lies they tell, the scent doesn't come. I'd relied on my sense of smell too heavily with my ex husband and been hurt.

"I'm a quick learner." I told him changing my body language to let him know I wasn't backing down. Hands on hips and legs braced, all ready for a verbal smack down.

Vinnie took a slight step back as he gave Connie a worried glance again. "Good for you. Learn about it then come back."

"I'm more of a hands on learner. I've never strangled anyone before but I bet I could learn quickly if I got my hands on you." Another step back.

"Steph... that's not gonna cut it. Threats are just going to piss me off."

I raised an eyebrow. I had an even better threat up my sleeve that I hadn't planned on using until now. If he wasn't going to cut his family any slack than I certainly wasn't. "I haven't talked to Lucille in a while. I was thinking about asking her to lunch this afternoon. Do you know if she's busy?"

Oh, _gross_. Pungent nervousness permeated the air. I was happy to know that had gotten to him but _damn_, he reeked. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Connie had stopped breathing.

Lucille had even worse luck than me, she was married to the stinker. She was also completely oblivious to all of his sexploits which were with anyone with two or four legs. I would never follow through on the threat of telling her, she was a kind lady and I didn't need to make living with Vinnie worse by humiliating her. Vinnie didn't need to know this though.

"Blackmail, Steph? I bail people out for games like that. You're gonna stoop that low to your own cousin?"

What a toad. Connie looked over at me, unimpressed as well. I wasn't sure why he even stayed with Lucille since she clearly wasn't man, dog or duck enough for him. He probably just kept her as a live in maid that he didn't need to pay. "I'm not playing any games Vinnie. I need the money. My parents even sent me here."

Vinnie sagged and ran a hand over his face in defeated. "Fine." To Connie he said, "Give her a civil case, something to keep her busy and learn the basics."

The idea of more money had me looking at Connie. I'd take on as many of these bad guys as it took to get my rent paid and a TV back in my living room. I slapped the folder in my hand against Vinnie chest and used it to push him back into the wall, getting into his face. "I want this one."

He took it from me blowing the air in his nose out at me. I crinkled _my_ nose in disgusted but didn't back off. He opened the file and just as quickly snapped it shut. "No. I'm not joking on this one either Steph. You're a real crummy cousin but I like you enough to keep you away from this one. I shouldn't have bailed this guy. He was the from the burg and I felt some stupid familial duty to bail him out for his mother. It was stupid. He murdered someone and should have been left in jail."

Murder? Well it was singular at least. I'm sure it wasn't just some random killing. There was probably a good reason and he was sorry and he'd never do it again. "I don't need you looking out for me. I can do this." I was whining a little bit now and Connie jabbed me in the ribs.

"Give her a chance, Vinnie. She's better than you think." Her voice had taken on a different cadence. Was she pulling an aura on him? Vamps have this handy trick to catch their, uh, prey and keep them from tattling. Vampires can pull an aura and make weak minded people do just about anything they ask, even forget.

Vinnie shook his head then pinched the bridge of his nose in thought. "I-I don't think so. I give this to Steph and I'm guaranteeing myself to be out a hundred grand." Money spoke to Vinnie and he was bull headed about it. I guess Connie's slight aura hadn't been enough to pull him in. I didn't think she'd tried real hard though.

Connie sighed then huffed. "Oh, _please_. Stop being such a drama queen. It's not like it's your own money, it's the insurance company's. How can it possibly hurt to give Stephanie a try? It's not like you have anyone else out looking for him."

I was practically bouncing now. He had to give in. We'd shot down all his bogus reasons. Whispering would have been pointless with Connie in the room so I just blurted out a few last goodies for him to ponder. "I know you and Madam Zaretski had a _play_ date a few weeks ago. She had all of her whips and chains out and everything. I know about your parade of men that you have streaming through your pants a few months back too." He was squirming now and I was beyond gleeful. "I also know a little thing about a certain duck you're fond of."

Vinnie bent over and rubbed his hands over his thighs. He looked like he was about to spew vomit. He deserved it too. Lucille would toss her cookies for sure if she knew she'd been sharing him with a duck.

"So are you going to sign me up for this or what?" I held my hand out for the file he'd put on the floor near his feet.

"Yeah, whatever." He mumbled, sulking. "Don't come crying to me when you end up in a ditch."

I opened the file and let out a crazy laugh. Oh, it was too perfect. It had been too long since I'd last seen him. Staring back at me was a mug shot of one Joseph Morelli. According to the attached article titled VICE COP KILLS UNARMED MAN, he'd shot someone. I knew this of course, from burg gossip and my mother. Everyone had assumed it was in the line of duty though. Murder was better though. Murder meant there was zero reason for me to ever feel guilty about hitting him with the Buick way back when.

Connie had been watching me flip through the information in the file. "You know him?"

"Oh, _yeah_." I gave her a cheerful smile then turned to her and said low enough to be missed by Vinnie, "I missed the brake when he was in the _road_ a long time ago."

She smiled then held up her hand for a high five. Today was suddenly looking a lot brighter.

* * *

**Quick and Dirty ****A/N: I hope you enjoyed. I don't know when you can expect a chapter two, probably within a week or so if not sooner. Feel free to make any suggestions or comments about what is posted so far and what could be. I have most of the story mapped out so far but am open to all ideas. The story will have le_moan_ade in later chapters, I promise. I have to say that I'm enjoying this a lot, and I definitely hope to continue with the Plum series in this genre.**


	2. Lost Dog: Reward 10K

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the sweet reviews, favs, alerts and so on. I suppose I should apologize for the long hiatus in posting this second chapter. I'd decided to write several chapters _then_ post so that I'd get the time line correct. I noticed a screwup in the first chapter I posted and I didn't want that to happen again. I was nearing halfway done with the entire book as Evanovich has written it when I lost everything. Needless to say I took a break and have been sulking ever since. I'm finally ready to get the pen back to the paper though.**

**I hope you enjoy this next installment of our favorite little Jersey girl in the big bad world of the supernatural.**

**All of the characters you know and love were borrowed from the lovely Ms. Evanovich. They will be returned to her in due time.**

* * *

Chapter Two: Lost Dog: Reward 10K

I WALKED TOWARD the nearest park bench and sat down after checking for gum, bird droppings and other treats I didn't want on my butt all day. I rested the file in my lap and smoothed my hands over it. Paper had _never_ felt so good. I couldn't believe yesterday's trauma had lead to this gem; I was not only employed but I had a chance for round two with Morelli. A round two that was going to be even more satisfying than breaking his leg. I wasn't even nervous anymore about meeting Connie the vampire. I was actually curious about her and I had a feeling that if I did a little show and tell with her and my coyote, that I might learn more about vampires from her. Not only had I learned that she had a reflection but it was also daytime and she was out. Scorching hot, blinding daytime. I would have thought all the vamps would be in their coffins.

I shook off my curiosity, vowing that next time I saw Connie that I would be a brave little walker and interrogate her...kindly. I opened the file and began absorbing everything it held. The pictures came first. A scent for me to track would be best but Beyer's obviously hadn't bottled one up for me, so I'd have to settle with sight for now. The mug shots filled me with glee, Morelli's misfortune was a sure way to brighten my day. There were some other pictures, a few candids then one's clipped from old newspaper articles. He looked tougher, more hardened and less carefree and not just the in the ones relating to the case. If I were feeling a little less vindictive, I might have been a tinsy bit sorry that experience had taken it's toll on him but I was just glad that I wasn't the one accused of murder and on the lam. He had a few scars that would help me identify him until I had a scent refresher. The one cutting through his right eyebrow was the most distinctive. It was the frosting on the cake to his unsettling look.

I closed the file then my eyes as I visualized his face. I had better recall than most people for things relating to my senses. Morelli didn't have a forgettable face and our colored past allowed me to further engrave his face into my memory for hunting. Screwing me over was going to be a wonderful motivator for me. This time I wasn't going to give him any chances to humiliate me.

As if on cue, my stomach gave a fierce grumble. After all of this morning's coercing and working I decided my stomach deserved a treat and Fiorello's happened to be right across the street. I locked the file up in my _gorgeous_ rust bucket then strolled over to get an ice cream. Fiorello's only had cheap packaged ice cream truck variety but my stomach would settle to just about anything that had sugar so I was in luck. After purchasing and devouring my ice cream in the store, I returned to the Nova and climbed in.

I hadn't seen Morelli other than passing by in eleven years. Catching him and tossing his ass in a cell was a pretty good reason to break this streak. I almost thought about trying to convince myself that this was just about money but my wicked grin in the side mirror loudly proclaimed otherwise. Money, at this point, just happened to be the best side effect of finding him. I was all about revenge right now.

I broke open his file again and began reading the bond contract. I skimmed hoping that a good place to start would jump out at me. His apartment off of Route 1 seemed like the most logical place. I could get his scent there and maybe catch him if he was suddenly brain dead and thought that would be a good hiding place. Maybe I would even question his neighbors. If by chance he got cleared of murder, I could at least turn all of his neighbors against him.

It took several tries and even more growls and threats from me before the car started. Morelli's apartment was only a few minutes away so I didn't bother going home to change out of my skirt even thought my legs were sticking together. His building was nicer than mine by a long shot. I could smell bengay from my parking lot; I couldn't even smell the dumpster from his. I grabbed the bond contract and set out to find his apartment feeling a little sad for myself. He had a ground level rear apartment which would be good for window snooping.

Suddenly what I was taking on became real for me. While it was revenge and a detective game, I could be happy and excited but now that I was actually outside Morelli's door, I felt like a fool. I had no clue how to go about finding someone who had committed murder who also happened to be a cop, _what_ was I thinking? Bravado had gotten me to his door but it definitely wasn't doing anything else for me. The knot in my stomach and the sudden urge to upchuck my ice cream rolled over me. What if Morelli actually was home? Even if he wasn't, what was I supposed to did if I ever found him? I could ask him nicely to accompany me to the police station and possibly end up in body bag too. He wasn't going to come with me just because I found him and asked, especially since he didn't show up to his first hearing. He was a man running from a murder charge and I was an ex-lingerie buyer.

I didn't think Morelli would kill me on purpose though, he had actually liked me enough at one point I guess. I wasn't sure I wanted to count on any of those romantic feelings he once had especially after my digression with the Buick. Maybe I could cow him with my coyote form, I could get lucky and he'd be allergic or something. That thought triggered my allergic reaction to being homeless and living with my mother, and suddenly I was bolstered with false courage. Morelli was _a lot_ less scary than my mother.

I checked his mailbox first since there was no chance he'd pop out of that. His box was stuffed so I figured it was safe to assume he hadn't been around for a few days. Feeling a little bit better about my chances of surviving, I squeezed my eyes shut and knocked on his door. I waited for a few second but I heard nothing, no movement inside the apartment and definitely no one answering the door. Before I began harassing the neighbors, I got down on my hands and knees and stuck my face in the gap between the door and the floor. I'm sure I looked crazy with my butt in the air but I didn't want to break in to get his scent, plus I was pretty sure I hadn't suddenly acquired lock-picking skills. Morelli smelled a little different than I remembered so I was glad that I risked the sniff. He'd added the smell of gun power to his natural scent of pine and city.

For the most part, people smell like what they live around. They pick up the scents of where they spend most of their time until it becomes their own. Everyone's scent is unique even if they are often fairly similar. I smell like confectionery sugar and the wild. In human form my coyote smell wasn't very obvious, if even there at all. A shower was usually able to get rid of it completely. Weres on the other hand, always smell like their wolves. I think this is one of the reasons why they tend to avoid me, that and simple snobbery.

I stalked around his building keeping an eye out for anyone who might think I'm a burglar or a pervert. Seeing no one, I counted off windows until I reached Morelli's. I was disappointed to find that all of his shades were down but I pressed my face against the glass of each anyway hoping to catch a glimpse of something. I didn't see much of anything, just a bit of floor and wall. I considered the mission successful anyway though because I didn't get caught and, more importantly, I hadn't wimped out.

I went back to the little lobby to try his neighbors. There were three other doors, I tried the one right across from Morelli's first and came up empty. Only one of the neighbors was home to answer their door. She was a walking corpse and not of the undead variety. I had to yell my questions at her and only managed to learn that she was relatively new to the building and had never seen or heard of Morelli in her life. She didn't invite me in for a drink but she also didn't ask me why I was asking her questions.

I went back to the Nova and turned it on to sit in the air conditioning to regroup. I wasn't sure what to do next since Morelli's had been pretty much a total bust. I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel and looked around, maybe I'd catch Morelli skulking back to his apartment if I waited around long enough. Patience was not my middle name and after only a few minutes I started getting antsy and bored. There was nothing going on outside to keep me entertained.

I dozed off for a few minutes when the soft purr of an expensive sports car woke me up. I hoped it was another one of Morelli's neighbors so that I would have something to do. I waited to see what the fancy car owner would do, wouldn't want to strain myself for no reason if it was just a lost tourist. After I'd nearly lost interest, a man slide out of the car and nearly gave me a heart attack from both excitement and panic. The guy was Joe's cousin, Mooch.

Mooch wasn't his real name but it was all I knew him by. I'd known him for a long time too. I'm glad I'd never been given a shitty nickname that stuck with me for life especially since I was stuck in Trenton for the unforeseeable future. Mooch had lived near St. Francis Hospital growing up. I never hung out with him but I knew him because he follow Joe around everywhere. His presence here might have been just the stroke of luck I needed. Morelli trusted Mooch and he was also family so that made him someone that might pick stuff up for Joe. I hoped he wasn't here to pick up Joe's mail, that would be relatively harmless. It would be more exciting to see Mooch break in to Morelli's apartment and steal a wig or something for Joe. I liked the idea of Mooch breaking in to Joe's apartment, I liked the idea of reporting the crime even more-_anything_ to make trouble for the Morellis. To my disappointment, Mooch came around the side of the building holding a key and let himself into Joe's apartment.

Motherfucker probably had a hide-a-key rock that I'd stepped right over while peeking in windows. I mentally added 'check for extra keys' to my to do list if I ever had another skip to catch. Everyone locks themselves out every once in a while and either gives a neighbor a key or cleverly hides one. I lock myself out of my apartment all the time, especially in the mornings when I'm lucky to even be dressed correctly because I haven't had my wake up doughnut.

Confronting Mooch in Joe's apartment didn't scream brilliant idea to me, so I decided to wait in my car and see what he did. I'd just really gotten into singing along with the radio when Mooch came back outside with an oversized black duffel bag. I held back a squeal of pleasure because, _come on_, a black duffel has it all. Black is a don't notice me, criminal color and a duffel bag that size could have anything in it. I hoped it was something for Joe and not dirty laundry that Mooch felt like helping out with or something lame like that.

Mooch hoofed it to his car, threw the duffel bag into the bag seat and then pealed out of the lot. Totally suspicious; I was surprised he didn't notice me though. I was facing him and my car was on _and_ I was the only other person in the parking lot. I'd seen a few movies where the good guys tail the criminal and hoped I'd be able to pull it off. There were only a few rules to tailing, know where the other car is and don't get caught. Easy enough. I pulled out of the parking lot a few second after Mooch had keeping a few cars between us. I would have lost him if it hadn't been for my superb eyesight. After my mother spotting the snacks in my car at yesterday's dinner I wasn't sure if the eyesight was just inherited or another coyote trait.

The longer I followed Mooch, the closer I felt to that ten grand payday. The first thing I was going to buy was another TV. I was already missing mine and I hadn't even been back home to mope about not being able to watch it yet. Mooch pulled onto State Street then a private drive. I didn't follow him and instead parked a ways down on State Street. I had to see what Mooch was up to and a new TV and extra cash allowed me to ignore the little common sense voice that occasionally tried to force me not to act stupidly. I flopped into the back seat of the Nova and began undressing. I locked all of the doors except one then huddled down while peaking out the window to see if anyone was nearby. I was clear so I opened the door a crack then shifted.

Holy _shit_, it was hot. Four legs and a boat load of fur sucked. New TV, new TV, _new TV_... I was ready. I nosed the door open with my muzzle and hopped down to the pavement. The car door clicked shut softly behind me. I high tailed it to one of the shrubs lining the private drive Mooch had taken. Thankfully I wasn't too out of place on this street; most of the houses had boarded up windows because it wasn't worth it to replaced windows that dumb kids kept throwing rocks at and the yards were overgrown. I was more in danger of getting tics than I was getting caught out of place.

I kept my body low to the ground and crawled towards the house Mooch went into. I perked my ears and hoped to catch the sound of multiple voices. I was too far back to be able to identify or decipher words and speakers but two voices meant that this probably wasn't just Mooch returned home, last I'd heard Mooch was still a bachelor anyway. I wasn't able to catch anything more than thumps of things being moved around, probably that massive duffel bag, before Mooch exited the house sans duffel. Hell yes, Mooch just picked up a duffel at Joe's and left it here, how _lucky_ am I?

Once Mooch had completely left, I stepped out of the foliage and shook myself off. Morelli could be in that house right now emptying the duffel bag. He wouldn't be expecting anyone and why would it worry him if a coyote happened to look in to his window? I'd pranced a few steps toward the front porch when I froze. Smart Stephanie was telling me this was how little coyotes got hurt but homeless and mother fearing Stephanie said do it. The problem with smart Stephanie was that she remembered Grandma Mazur telling her all about taxidermy last month and how she had suggested I try dying in coyote form so that I could be stuffed. After all, she'd never been to a funeral that had a stuffed body. Smart Stephanie kept suggesting that Morelli might have picked up hunting in his spare time. Personally I did not want to be a head mounted on a wall and sneaking up to peak in his windows gave me the shakes.

My stomach growled again and I remembered that I'd missed lunch time. I sighed realizing that soon I wouldn't be able to afford lunch unless I wanted to have lunch at my parent's every day. That got my paws scrambling toward the house. Looking in the window was no big deal. I just had to look and then go. I peered into the first window I came to and realized my mistake. This wasn't a house, it was another apartment..._stupid_. I began checking all of the windows along the wrap around porch. Almost no one was home and thus far I hadn't seen anything that made me want to claw my eyes out. I struggled up the fire escape to the second floor. Each apartment had connecting balconies with fairly low iron fencing separating them, perfect. The very first window I peaked in had me scrambling back down the stairs and toward the Nova. Morelli had been right there and was on the verge of looking up. His window had been open and he probably heard my nails clicking as I walked. I'd nearly been caught and even I couldn't come up with an explanation for a coyote on a balcony.

I dry heaved from nerves a few times by the car. I laid down and covered my face with my paws to pull myself together. I could do this. I'd found Joe, now I just needed to bring him in. I shifted back and quickly got back into my car and redressed. I didn't want to give myself time to think this through and come up with a million reasons why it was a bad idea, so I got right back out of the car and went into the lobby of the apartment. There were names on each mailbox so I scanned the names for the second floor. Apartment 201 didn't have a name and the rest weren't Morelli so I assumed that was him. I climbed the stairs while my feet said up but the rest of me wished I'd faint.

Once on the second-floor landing I began to notice when I felt like this before. In high school we had to act out Shakespeare scenes in English class. I hadn't memorized my lines and was a failure at public speaking. When it had been my turn to go, I'd thrown up and had been excused for the day. My life was glamorous even then. I'd already dry heaved out on the lawn so that option was out, so I had to go through with it. I knocked on the door quickly hoping that maybe he'd dismiss the sound thinking it had been nothing, then I'd be able to leave having done my best.

I heard movement behind the door and the scent of pine increased. I hoped I was crazy and that Mooch was really behind the door. Maybe because they were cousins they would smell similar. Maybe it wasn't me hyperventilating. Suddenly the movement stopped and I noticed the peephole on the door. Maybe he wouldn't answer when he saw it was me...or maybe he'd have a gun ready for payback. I wished I'd stayed in my car and waited until he left, maybe then I could have just mowed him down and caught him that way. Thinking about young Morelli gave me a little bit of courage. After all, would the asshole who wrote the details on the men's room wall at Mario's Sub Shop about our foray in the bakery really harm me? He never wrote about any of the other girls, I guess that made me special. I gave the peephole a pathetic finger wave and hoped that even if he was mad that he would at least consider me harmless.

I heard him groan "Jesus Christ" before he slid the bold back and yanked the door open. He crossed his arms and learned on the door frame, "What?"

I could feel my inner coyote tucking her tail between her legs and whimpering. The photos hadn't done Morelli's menacing look justice, he was down right scary. He definitely didn't look like a first time killer.

I took a moment to reevaluate the situation. Fact, there was no way in hell I was even half as strong as him, the only way he was going to the police department with me was if he wanted to. Fact, he didn't look happy to see me but he also looked confused..._almost_ as if he didn't know me. Fact, I was on the verge of peeing myself and wanted nothing more than to redo this day. Needless to say, I didn't inform him that I wanted to haul his ass down to the slammer and collect the money from his bond. "Umm... I'm looking for Joe Juniak? He, uh, told me he was moving into this building but I couldn't find his name on the mailboxes but this one didn't have a name...so here I am. Is he-" Oh, God. The word vomit had commenced.

Morelli cut me off, "You got the wrong apartment. There's no Juniak here. I don't know my neighbors so I can't help you."

I forced a smile past my grimace. "Oh, um, thanks anyway. Sorry for bothering you." I turned and nearly ran toward the stairs. I made it halfway there before I felt a hand on my shoulder than spun me around.

Morelli had apparently recognized me because he had a completely dumbfounded expression across his face. "Shit... Stephanie Plum?" It burned me a little that he hadn't recognized me right away. Anger, _good_, I could use that. His tone had me on edge too. It was the tone my mother used whenever she caught me doing something I shouldn't be, condescending and bitchy.

I squinted at him and put a hand on my hip while shifting my weight back and forth. A good lie comes with body language to back it up. Now that my head was clear and I'd stopped word vomiting, I felt a whole lot better. "Who...? _Oh_. Joseph Morelli. Surprise...surprise."

He apparently didn't like being forgotten either. He narrowed his eyes then chose to bring up my shining moment, "Mhmm, almost as surprising as being run down by your father's car."

Since I planned on maybe one day getting him into jail, I decided to clear this incident up for him. I didn't want him tattling or anything like that. "I _swear_ it was an accident. I wasn't used to that car and my foot slipped." My foot slipped? Did I _really_ just say that? Way to go Steph, he won't call you on that.

He blanched then scowled, "There is _no way_ that was an accident. You jumped the goddamn curb and I was practically running away from you when you nailed me. I could have died!" His voice had been steadily increasing though out his rant. I rolled my eyes at him and he glanced at the other doors clearly hoping we hadn't been overheard. "Why are you here, Stephanie? Are you here to break my other leg? Maybe you're here to finish me off this time?"

I stifled a growl, "Yeah, I've been plotting all this time, waiting until I thought you wouldn't expect me before I came to strangle you."

Realization flickered in his eyes, "You know about my trial don't you? And what, you thought 'how can I fuck up Joe's life even more'?"

My sense of hearing in person form isn't usually good enough to pick up heartbeats but I could hear Joe's thundering. His face was turning red from anger too. Before he got any angrier about nothing, because it's just business, right, I blabbed, "Like I give a crap about you. I certainly don't spend my days looking for Morelli news in the paper and plotting how I can possibly use it to my advantage. I don't even read the newspaper!" I continued getting a little huffier, "I happen to be working for Vinnie. You're in violation of your bond agreement."

Like magic his anger smoothed away into a grin. He rocked back on his heels and looked me over. I'm sure the only frightening thing he saw was my hair and most likely that just added to his amusement. He actually had the nerve to chuckle before he said, "Vinnie? He sent _you_?"

I bristled and considered shifting just to bite him. Giving my secret away is a big no-no though, so I settled for using my bitchy voice and a good glare, "It's not funny!"

"Trust me, it is. I haven't had a good laugh in a while so I know one when I see one."

Well, any sympathy I might have had for him just flew out the window. I know I looked like a joke but it was a completely uncalled for him to actually tell me that. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath in. Yeesh, he smelled like he'd been on the run. Didn't he have a shower in there? The smell made my nose wrinkle as well as calm down a bit, he did have a point after all. "Why don't we talk about this?"

He considered for a second than said, "Okay, talk."

It sounded like he was spoiling for another joke so I went with my best reason to turn himself in, guilt. "What about your mother?" Morelli was a big momma's boy growing up. I hoped that hadn't changed.

"What about her...?"

Really? He needed me to spell it out for him? Maybe he thought the bond fairies released him. "You mother signed the bond agreement. You know, the one for a hundred grand? She can't afford that, she's going to have to mortgage her house. Won't that be an interesting topic for the burg grapevine? She would be humiliated." The burg gossip is deadly, _no one_ wanted to be the center of gossip, especially not Mama Morelli.

His grin was instantly gone. I crossed my fingers behind my back and hoped that his mother was like mine and that he feared her wrath. "Not gonna work, Stephanie. She bailed me out to keep me out and I have no intention of going back into custody. A possibly dirty cop thrown in with criminals, I'll have everyone gunning for me and won't live to see the weekend. Even if I _was_ thinking about turning myself in, I wouldn't let you collect my bounty money. You'd have to be a _lunatic_ to believe I would. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick. Why would I do you a favor?"

I was not crazy. I may have psychotic looking hair and sprout fur every once in a while, but I was _not _crazy. I also wasn't stupid and he was certainly insinuating that. I was just hopeful and impulsive. I jabbed my finger into his chest, "You're a jerk. You deserved to get run over. I hardly hit you anyway. You would have noticed that if you hadn't been running and tripped breaking your leg."

"I should have reported you then. I could have saved myself a whole lot of trouble."

"I _should_ have put the Buick in reverse and backed over your skull. Then I wouldn't be here causing you trouble."

Morelli turned and strode back into his apartment yelling back at me, "See ya. I have better things to do than argue with a nutcase."

I walked in right after him. "_Excuse_ me? I'm not the one running from the law. I'm sorry that you're a worse criminal than I am."

Morelli pulled on a wind breaker and zipped up the duffel Mooch had dropped off before I got a peak inside. I stood blocking the door, demanding his attention. "Look, I have to go. Leave me alone."

Yeah, _right_. His was my ticket to my old life, I definitely wasn't backing down now. Curiosity got the better of me as he swept around the apartment grabbing various things. "Where are you going?"

I was less concerned about keeping him in his apartment than I was about where he planned on going so I let him nudge me out of the way. I followed him back onto the landing then took several steps back as I watched him shove a gun into the back of his jeans as he locked the door. I never did understand why men feel the need to put guns into the waist of their pants. What if it went off? I can imagine _so_ many less painful places to be shot.

He gave me a look before saying, "It is none of your business where I'm going." He then turned and made his way down the stairs carefully with the duffel.

I didn't really care for that answer so I continued following him. "I'll just find you again. This may be my first go at apprehension but I think I'm doing pretty good so far. Beyer's couldn't even find you and I did in only a few hours. You should just give up now before I do something we all regret. I'm not afraid of you and I promised Vinnie."

I honestly wasn't sure if I was crazy or not when I realized I truthfully wasn't scared of him anymore. I went from nauseous at the sight of him to picking a fight and threats. I was also pretty proud of myself. I had done a good job finding him. I wasn't sure how I planned on actually apprehending him though. Unless he sat still and let me tie him up than walked on his own to my car, I didn't really see it happening. I'd need to think on this, maybe Connie had some ideas.

I continued following him out into the back parking lot to his beat up car. Sadly even a fugitive had a better car than me. I thought about offering to trade, he was less likely to get caught by someone else in mine after all.

He popped open the trunk and tossed the duffel bag in. Finally he turned and faced me again. With a sigh he said, "Don't bother tracing the plate, I won't have this car in a few hours." Well, isn't he Mr. Helpful. I hadn't planned on finding out the owner of the car, it wouldn't help me find him later anyway. I was a little happy to know that I'd need to search for another car later on though. He opened the driver's side door and turned toward me one last time before getting in, "Don't bother tailing me either like you did Mooch. I'll know and lose you." I had no doubt he'd able to lose me if I followed him in my car but he didn't stand a chance when I searched by smell tonight. I just smiled.

I started walking away when he rolled down his window and called out, "I like your hair curly by the way." I immediately stiffened, turned around, snarled and gave him a favorite Italian hand gesture.

He laughed, pleased with my reaction. Definitely not what I was going for. "It suits you. A dash of crazy, no control, incredibly sexy."

I turned my back on him and continued making my way toward the Nova. My hair was a sore subject for me and I didn't like him using it to define me.

Morelli drove up along side me and rolled down the passenger window. "Maybe I did deserve to get run over. You aren't going to try that again, are you?"

I kept walking. "That was a shitty apology. You'll need to do better than that if you really want to make sure I don't bump you again."

He laughed then drove off.

* * *

IT WAS A little after two by the time I returned to Vinnie's and I still hadn't eaten any lunch. Letting Morelli get away, hunger and the heat were putting me in a sour mood. I flung myself down on the couch across from Connie's desk, subtly squirming to wipe the sweat off of me and onto the worn leather. Walking from the Nova to Vinnie's had been hellish and a mother had dragged her son across the street to get away from me. I was a mess.

Connie was tapping away on her computer and hadn't bothered to look up at me yet. Vampires must be good at scent identification too because she had mumbled out a "Just a second, Steph" when I'd come in. I closed my eyes for a few minutes while waiting. Warm weather tends to make me sleepy. It wasn't long before I was startled by a shriek from Connie, "Holy shit! Who raised you from the dead? You could be a stunt double for the bride of Frankenstein."

I narrowed my eyes at her and tried to look intimidating, which was hard to do when she was flashing her fangs around laughing. Her laughter was infectious and I soon found myself smirking back at her. "You really think so? I'm trying to find a look that won't attract Vinnie. He hasn't had a chance to try out incest yet and I don't want to be the first."

She laughed even harder. "Don't worry, I'll keep him in line for you." She then clicked her teeth together. I'd need to remember to stay on Connie's good side. She was a lot of fun while I was amusing her but I had a feeling her enemies saw a whole other side to her. I really liked her though. Most of the _others_ push me away when they realize friendship with me will gain them nothing.

"Can I ask you a question about vamps?" I felt a little nervous asking because some of the older ones consider questions to be insulting their need for secrecy. "You don't have to answer, I'm just curious about the whole sun thing and you not melting like the Wicked Witch of the West. I don't really know much about how the other side lives."

Connie gave me a friendly smile then in a flash was seated next to me holding one of my hands in both of hers. My question had apparently given her the go ahead to start seriously trying to discover my secret. I hadn't bothered to shower either so I'm sure I reeked of coyote. Not many recognize the scent luckily because there just aren't very many around here to compare my scent to. She took in my wary expression before slowly saying, "I will answer any of your questions about me...that I can, if you answer a few I have about you."

That seemed fair and I knew that she would eventually figure me out anyway so there was no obvious harm in telling her now. "Okay. I actually don't know much about myself though. I'm one of a kind as far as I'm aware."

Connie squeezed my hand then beamed at me. "Forget everything you've been told about us, most of it is probably just encouraged lies. The more mysterious and dangerous we seem, the better." I could understand that. I had a feeling that vampires were just as dangerous as I thought they were though, and _nothing_ she said was going to make me think they were cuddly puppies. "See, we have the whole super strength, vision, healing and so on but it's weakened during the day. Most of us chose to spend our days sleeping so that we only go out when we're at our prime. I'm not sure how the whole bursting into flames or the corpse by day rumors started." I knew how, it was people like my mother who would make up worst case scenarios about everything supernatural she didn't like. For a long time she had me convinced that if I willingly shifted, I would get stuck that way.

Connie waited a few beats for me to digest her information before hammering me with questions. "What are you? I can tell you're like me. You know, one of the _others_? You smell like the forest but I can't tell exactly what. Ugh, it's so frustrating! No, wait! Don't tell me! Let me guess. Forest...forest... you have to be a shifter of some sort. Am I right?"

No way in hell was she going to guess a walker but maybe I could at least lead her toward guessing a coyote. I smiled then nodded.

"I've been trying to figure you out ever since you first came in. You're definitely not Were...not aggressive enough and you aren't playing dominance games with me. Are there just regular non-were shifters out there? Well, _duh_ because here you are. Okay, wait... do you have four legs?"

I laughed, this had definitely become 20 questions. I'd never met a vampire who was willing to play silly games let alone one who clearly reveled in it. Vampires in my experience were all about business and blood. "Yup, I have those."

She tapped a pencil to her chin while thinking, "You're not something bizarre like a platypus or exotic like a jaguar are you? I don't think so but I just want to rule out all of that."

I was no platypus, the thought made me giggle though. "No, I'm not bizarre or exotic. I'm more desert than forest though, I suppose."

"Oh!" She practically bounced out of her seat. "Camel!" She gave me a huge grin knowing that I would be offended by her guess. I gave her a scowl and yanked my hand back. She wiggled her eyebrows, "You _do_ have two humps though."

Ha, a vampire comedian. I hoped she was referencing my chest and not my ass. My unemployment pity doughnuts had been filling it out these past months. "Aren't you a riot?"

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Coyote though?" I nodded. "Shit, I bet that gets you into a lot of trouble. The wolves are territorial and frankly I don't think you'd do very well pitted against any of them." Didn't I know it. I got the short end of the straw big time, no added strength and no fast healing for me and they got them both.

While I was feeling sorry for myself I remembered why I was really here. "Patheticness is actually why I'm here. I think I was a little overzealous when I left before. I have no clue how to capture someone against their will. Do you have any tips for me?"

"Well I've never actually tried skip chasing and my prey catching methods are a _little_ unique... Do you wanna try talking to an expert? I have someone in mind but he, uh, is like us. A little more like you actually." She made a face as she beat around the bush. I really didn't care who she set me up with as long as they could help me.

"Whatever, that's fine. I'd love to talk to someone."

"Okay well, his name is Ranger... Ricardo Carlos Manoso but don't call him that unless you want trouble. He's Cuban-American and was Special Forces. He's _real_ good. He takes the upper tier bonds for Vinnie. He can be a little unorthodox in his captures though, but really who cares if it works."

Unorthodox sounded a lot like a euphemism for illegal, but Connie was right. Who would care if I caught Joe because I threw a rock at his window or something? "I guess I can live with that. I'd never do anything I wasn't comfortable with." Blatant lie right there, I could smell it. I did things all the time that I didn't want to. Things my mother made me do, things that stupid Stephanie suggested...

"He's just a little Old West in his methods. Guns blazing and all that." Oh, now I wasn't sure. Guns seemed like a bad idea especially if he had one and I didn't. Then again I knew Morelli had one too so maybe I needed to get used to that.

Before I was able to change my mind, Connie was at her desk scrolling through her contacts and had dialed Ranger's pager. I sighed and laid back down on the couch remembering that I could always quit. Quitting was always an option. Not my favorite since it didn't involve money or besting Morelli, but it was still a choice.

**

* * *

A little ending A/N: There wasn't much space in the time frame for me to add in my own scenes so this chapter was fairly close to the original. I'm _very_ excited about the next chapter. You can probably expect both a Steph and Ranger version of the events. Who knows when you can expect the next chapter though. I would say soon, but last time I committed to that, my computer decided to get a virus.**


	3. The Big Bad Wolf

**A/N: I was really nervous about writing two POVs for this chapter. I feel like I've got Steph's down good but other than being a breathing sentient being, I have nothing in common with Ranger so I was very unsure about his voice. In this chapter, Steph's part is mostly action and dialogue based because we all know she's not known for thinking before she acts (you'll see her thoughts on this meeting later, don't worry) and Ranger is mostly thoughts because I'd covered the action with Steph. It was important for me to get them both in here though because Ranger often does and says things that I've aways felt are misinterpreted by Stephanie. I want to get his reasons and unique perspective on everything especially since I've made him even more..._unique_.**

**Once again, thank you for all the beautiful reviews, alerts, and favs. I responded to all of the recent ones. I hope you enjoy this next installment of our babe in training and her dashing teacher.**

**All of the characters you know and love were borrowed from the lovely Ms. Evanovich. They will be returned to her in due time. Maybe never since I'm having so much fun.**

* * *

Chapter Three: The Big Bad Wolf

RPOV:

ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES ago, my pager went off. Connie was requesting a call back. I had no idea what for, I'd been in earlier to make sure they didn't have anything for me today. I'd called Connie and she told me that I was going to help out a new bounty hunter, _just_ want I wanted to spend my day doing. I was to meet him at a cafe downtown and play nice. Connie was smart to hang up before I had a chance to reply. She was one of the few that got away with bossing me around. I mostly put up with it because I needed her to get my bond contracts.

Anyway, I was seated in a booth at the cafe with my back to the wall and the entrance and other customers in my line of sight. Sometimes old habits die hard. I wasn't waiting long before the smell of oil overwhelmed my senses and the bell above the door tinged as someone entered. Female, undeniably a lightweight, high heels..._definitely_ not who I'm supposed to meet. I checked my watch again.

* * *

SPOV:

I WOKE UP to Connie staring at me. "I just got off the phone with Ranger. He's agreed to meet you. I thought it was best not tell him anything about you." That was probably a smart idea, don't want give him a chance to know what an unteachable dork I was. Much better to force him to find out on his own, that way I'd have a chance to whine and beg that he try to help me out anyway.

The puddle under the Nova looked concernedly larger than it had been. I didn't know anything about cars, but I had a feeling that this wasn't a good sign in regards to the Nova's lifespan. My hair couldn't look any grosser and I sort of wanted to see where the puddle was coming from. I sighed then got down on my hands and knees for the second time today and carefully maneuvered my head and torso under the car. I didn't see the leak until a big ol' drop fell on my shirt. I sighed again then crawled back out. It was just like I suspected... something I had no clue how to go about fixing, _big_ surprise.

I clambered into the car. I wasted a few minutes pouting and rubbing at the oil stain then started making my way downtown. Traffic was light so I made good time. I was even a little early arriving to the cafe that I was supposed to meet Ranger at. I wanted to get a good look at the guy before I committed to some sort of one on one training session with him. Connie had seemed hesitant and for all I knew Ranger could be a clone of Vinnie. I decided to get something to drink from the cafe before joining him if he'd beaten me here.

As soon as I opened the door I knew why Connie had struggled over sending me to him. The smell of werewolf permeated the air drawing me in. The thing about alpha wolves is that it is _impossible_ not to notice them. Their very presence demands attention. I beat down the urge to look over at him and made my way to the bar. I hopped up onto a stool and ordered a milkshake before sneaking a glance his way.

He had silky straight black pulled back into a ponytail that would have taken my hours to tame my hair into. He had bulging biceps that are common to all weres but they, surprisingly, didn't make him appear hulking. I guessed his height to be about 5'10" and his physical appearance to be in its late twenties. Weres stop aging once they're changed so who knew how old he really was, it's not usually something they share with me anyway. Everything about him screamed alpha, from the way he held himself to the calculating look in his eyes.

I took a giant gulp of my milkshake and shook all thoughts of tasting his yummy body out of my head. Going down that path wouldn't lead to any good. Money had to come before everything else right now. I couldn't afford to be stupid Stephanie.

He hadn't glanced at me since I came in which surprised me a little. I knew Connie didn't tell him anything about me but I figured my unique scent would have peaked his interest. I grabbed my milkshake and made my way to his booth. _Still_ not a glance. I stuck my hand out at him and said, "Hi. I'm your new trainee," then gave him a blinding smile as he looked up.

I hadn't been prepared for the full force of his gaze and had to immediately look away. Instead of measuring dick size, werewolves determine their _machoness_ with a bunch of silly mind games. I told myself that I hadn't looked away because of his dominate status to me, rather that his intenseness was just unnerving. Dominance and all that doesn't really affect me; humans and other werewolves all respond to it but witches, vamps, the fey and I can pretty much ignore it. I mostly choose to play along though so they left me alone. Not playing along typically leads to their belief that you want to challenge them and I definitely didn't want to get my butt kicked.

I watched him visibly shake off his surprise before he stood and offered me the seat across from him. "I wasn't expecting..._you_."

I gave him another nervous smile then took another gulp of milkshake. "Um, this is a pity job that Connie offered me. I'd appreciate any help you can offer. If you can turn me into a badass fugitive apprehension agent, that would be even better."

He took a few seconds to really look me over before giving me a quick grin. "What happened? You run into trouble already?"

I really wanted his help and I didn't want to get on the local alpha's bad side so I only gave him a mental glare before complaining, "I'm in a _mid_-midlife crisis right now. I actually have to contemplate homelessness versus moving in with my parents. And to make everything worse, look at my car!" I waved a hand towards the parked Nova and the strain below it.

"Ouch. Looks like a death trap."

I shrugged. "As long as it takes me with it when it goes and doesn't get me abandoned somewhere, I don't mind. That beauty cost me the few joys I have in life and I need them back. I _need_ the money from this job, bad."

"There are easier jobs to get some fast money from." He gave me a look, expecting me to elaborate on my motivation for taking the job.

Lying would be useless since he had a nose better than mine. I was still confused about why he hadn't brought up my second nature yet but knew better than to bring it up myself. "Okay, so it's not just money...I have a personal investment in this as well."

He shook his head and looked frustrated. "Making it personal is dangerous. Unless you're able to set it aside and think, you'll end up hurt."

I frowned. Did he really think that I hadn't thought of that? I was _well_ aware that I'd probably end up hurt, that's why I was here so that he could maybe teach me something to prevent that. "Do _you_ do it just for the money?"

"I do it because it happens to be one of the things I'm best at." It hit me then that he was referencing his nonhuman abilities and that he had no _clue_ that I was a little more than human myself. The car oil must be overpowering my own scent. I did a happy dance inside. I'd managed to unknowingly pull a fast one on a werewolf, an _alpha_ werewolf. Oh, this was good. I wondered how long I'd be able to keep my secret a secret. I hoped it was at least until he'd taught me the good stuff. Who knew what his reaction would be to a wiley coyote.

I smiled around the milkshake straw and allowed myself to completely relax around him. "I just need to be halfway decent this one time, then I can go about moping again for a while."

"Alright, let's get started. Who's your skip?"

I got a warm rush thinking about Morelli behind bars again. "Joseph Morelli."

I wasn't paying attention, too busying drifting off into my own little dream world of a hefty paycheck and Morelli at my mercy, so when I heard Ranger's bark of laughter I accidentally spilled the rest of my shake. He laughed harder and I resisting both lapping up my milkshake and doing a face plant into it to get away from this day.

"Oh, this is good. No wonder Connie wanted to get you help." He tipped his head back and grinned but he at least look like he was trying to tone it down. I grabbed some napkin and angrily mopped up my mess. His smile had started to warm me up for reasons other than revenge and stupid Stephanie was suggesting that I deserved a little kiss after losing so much shake. A _little_ kiss couldn't hurt if he thought I was human, right? No, _bad_ Stephanie. Focus, be the bounty hunter. It was much easier to resist when he continued, "You're never catching him. He actually knows what he's doing and he's good. He's not some old lady who forgot to pay her bills and then forgot her hearing date. He's a cop accused of murder. You get why this is crazy, right?"

I knew who I wasn't going to go to for a pep talk in the future. I tried not to sound too petulant, "Connie said you'd help me."

"I'm not a miracle worker, Sweet Thing." Ouch, I'd get him back for that. It didn't matter how pretty or untouchable he was, that was a direct hit to my ego and I planned on giving as good as I got. I'd need to be sneaky about it though, an accidental payback or something he couldn't stick to me.

I folded my hands in front of me and leaned forward. I'd spilled my shake _and_ I'd been poked fun at, a grumpy and hungry Stephanie is a dangerous beast. "Okay, look. I get that I'm not tough and muscular like you. Desperate times makes me a desperate lady though and I'm willing to put my all into this. I've been jobless for half a year. My mother threatened to treat me to daily lunches with her. I lost my hockey tickets and my TV. I can't take much more and I'm hungry as hell. You're more than welcome to keep taking stabs at me but you better be teaching me something while you do."

I grimaced hoping he hadn't caught on to the subtle order I'd just given him. He just look at me, amused. "Sounds like a deal. What's your name, by the way?"

"Oh! I'm Stephanie Plum. You can call me Steph. Connie said I was supposed to call you Ranger?"

"Yup, that's my street name."

I giggled. _Street name_, really? Growing up in the Burg there are no street names and this is the first time I've ever heard anyone even say street name. I slapped Morelli's file down on the table and slid it towards him. He opened it and started scanning through. I got bored after a few seconds so I got up and squeezed onto the bench next to him. I knew I was pushing it, there was a chance he'd catch the coyote scent. There was also the issue of wolf personal space but I wanted to have something to do before I said something that might get me into trouble.

Ranger glanced at me before returning to the file. I read through the bond agreement again with him. He tapped Morelli's address, "You check there yet? It's a decent starting place."

"Yeah, I went there earlier today. Morelli wasn't there but I caught Mooch getting stuff out of his place. I followed him to State Street and saw Morelli before he checked out."

Ranger waited for me to continue.

"And, uhh, that's it. He left, like I said."

Ranger looked dumbfounded. "You _found_ him and what, let him go? Why didn't you stop him? You could have kneed him or something. That's a pretty good girl move. Effective."

I didn't really want to tell him that I'd asked Joe to come with me but he'd said no, so I opted for truth two point oh. "He had a gun in his pants! I couldn't have done anything, plus it's hard to balance on these shoes. I hadn't planned on finding him so fast." That _probably _hadn't helped my helpless girl image or my street rep but it was better than the other option.

I caught him smirk out of the corner of my eye. "Plan on getting a gun?"

_No_ I did not, but I also knew the correct answer to this question so I tried an evasive maneuver, "On a scale from one to ten, how necessary is it that I invest in a gun? I don't have much left to pawn off. Could I substitute? Maybe I could work up to one."

He must had expected a cop out like this because he immediately said, "Usually I'd say a three of four, but for you I'm going to say a ten. You've seen him with a _gun_, he killed some guy with a _gun_...I'm not seeing another solution for you."

I started to protest even though I really had no logical response but he cut me off. "He used a .45 hydroshock on Ziggy Kulesza's head. Do you know what that does?" He caught my eyes and I was trapped. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be sunshine and rainbows but I didn't want to think about worse things. "The bullet went in nice and neat between his eyes then went out the other side making a fist sized hole." He gave me a look that said he wanted me thinking about this. "His brains would have looked a lot like your milkshake."

I wasn't sure if he was trying to scare me off or if he was testing me somehow. "Wow, that's _great_. Maybe, if you're lucky, when my milkshake comes back up, none of it will get on you."

He smiled gently. "Not my goal. Gotta know your target though, it will help."

I rolled my eyes at him. After the brains comment I really didn't care much about the danger seated next to me. "I know enough about the case through the PG newspaper articles. Did you read them? No? Okay well, Beyers included some clippings about the shooting." I closed my eyes and tried to recall as much as I could back to him. "It happened at night..a month-ish ago. Morelli was off duty and was meeting...Carly? No, _Carmen_ Sanchez at some apartment on Shaw. He claimed that the meeting was concerning a police matter and that instead of Sanchez meeting him at the apartment, Ziggy showed up. Morelli _also_ claimed it was self-defense. Boo yeah!"

After such a stressful day and still being hungry, I was impressed that I could even remember my own name. I laid the side of my face on the table and closed my eyes. A lot of things made me sleepy and I felt like I was starting to shut down. Great job Steph, fall asleep next to the big bad wolf when he's finally agreed to help you out. Instead of looking disgusted with me, I saw a concerned look cross his face when I opened my eyes sleepily.

When I opened my eyes again there was a piece of pie sitting in front of me. I was tempted to just dive right in but resisted and used a few human manners deciding that a fork would excuse the piggish eating. The pie was heavenly and I couldn't hold back the groans. I saw him shift in his seat a bit and smirked. Once the pie was polished off, I gave Ranger a real smile. Not one of my nervous or crazy smiles which I usually bring out. He smiled back at me looking perplexed and still a little bit concerned. "Feeling better?"

I nodded. "Yes, thanks. I've had a long day. The heat is making me sleepy and I think I was feeling a little low on sugar." And I'd shifted earlier today so my metabolism was ramped up.

He looked unsure about my answer but it had been true enough. "Let's keep going then. What else do you know?"

"The neighbors all told a completely different story than Morelli. Most of them came out when they heard a gun go off and saw Morelli standing over Ziggy. None of them remember seeing a gun near Ziggy's body and one hasn't turned up in the police investigation. One of the neighbors subdued Morelli until the police arrived at the scene. Umm, Morelli said he saw someone else in the apartment, not Sanchez though. The neighbors remember this person too but he was gone before the police got there. And I think that's it!"

I wasn't actually sure Ranger was paying attention to what I'd been saying. While I was going over everything I'd been running my finger through the pie goo and crumbs then cleaning it off with a swipe of my tongue. Ranger hadn't missed a single taste and I was pleased with myself. The pie and all it had encompassed was good enough payback for his earlier asshole comment since uncomfort for uncomfort was a fair trade.

He must have caught me watching his interest because he smirked at me then asked, "Know anything more about Carmen?"

Another slice of pie walked by and my nose led me to it. It kept going though and I was forced to focus on answering Ranger's question. Before I started, he interjected, "Got a food radar in there?" He was definitely trying to figure me out now. I hoped the oil stain and my sugar breath were enough to distract him for at least this meeting.

"_What_! So I like food! The sweeter, the better."

"Stuff's bad for you"

"Yeah, _yeah_. When rabbit food starts tasting like doughnuts, then I'll eat it. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I already said something about Carmen not being there. I don't think she's been seen since either. That's all I know about the shooting." I was careful to add that qualifier because otherwise I was a big fat liar and I bet Ranger would love to hear all about how I wanted to pummel the guy who slept with me in a sugar haven then ditched me so I beamed him with a car.

"That's pretty good. I have a little more info for you. Ziggy was working for Benito Ramirez when Morelli shot him. Name mean anything to you?"

Of course I knew that name. _Anybody_ who wasn't living in a cave in Trenton knew that name. I wasn't sure if he was looking for something more though. "He's a boxer."

He shook his head and mumbled, "A boxer..." He did grin though so I assumed he was making fun of me. I'd forgive him since he bought me pie and I enjoyed seeing the smile again. "He's not just a boxer, he's _the_ boxer. A fucking heavyweight and the best Trenton's seen in a long time. He trains in a gym on Stark Street. Kulesza was with him a lot. Sparring sometimes but mostly Ziggy was his gofer and bodyguard."

Why would a heavyweight boxer, who impressed an alpha werewolf, need a bodyguard? Ranger looked like he was about to continue but cut himself off. I watched him switch gears, "Be careful around him, babe. He's not a man to mess with." Uh oh, that sounded a lot like a nicer version of the Morelli warning I used to get. I don't think Ramirez would offer to play any games I'd enjoy, so maybe I actually would stay away.

"Do you know anything else? Like maybe what the whole meeting was about. You'd know stuff like that, right? _Street name_ and all..."

I knew better than to poke the wolf's buttons but so far I'd liked all the reactions I'd received from him and he didn't disappoint this time either when he gave me a 'dear God, this woman is really a bounty hunter' look. "Nothing. If self-defense wasn't the real reason for the shooting, Morelli probably had a good reason to shoot him anyway. He's levelheaded, doesn't do rash shit unlike some cops."

I don't know what crack pipe he was smoking because the Morelli I knew wasn't levelheaded. All I got from him was reaction, reaction, _reaction_. Telling Ranger that he was wrong would only result in story time so I kept my trap shut on that. "Everyone acts stupidly eventually though. It's a natural law or something."

He shook his head and I felt like he was holding something back. "No, not Morelli."

I narrowed my eyes at him as took a drink from his water for the first time since I'd sat down. "_You're_ not telling me something. What is it?"

I gasped and covered it with a cough when I caught a peak of his wolf's eyes staring back at me. As soon as I'd seen them they were gone. They'd been a shocking pale blue, like ice. They hadn't fit with his face at all but they'd been hauntingly beautiful. "I'm _telling_ you to be careful."

He must be deadly serious if he was struggling to keep control of his wolf over this. I'd been pretty upbeat after my confrontation with Morelli since it was obvious that he considered me a joke and I wasn't going to get my brains splattered everywhere for that. But Ranger suddenly had me unsure. Losing control of your wolf was usually a sign of the need to fight or protect, or just plain rage, but I didn't know Ranger well enough to understand what I was missing. Was he warning me off Morelli? That didn't seem right though. It almost sounded like he'd respected Morelli earlier.

Ranger had watched me throughout my silence then finally asked, "So, are you still going to go after him?"

"I-I'm sure." I tipped my head to the side still trying to figure him out. "Is there a reason I should change my mind?"

I could tell he wanted to say yes, but he opted for ignoring the question. "If you give him up, someone else will just be after him. Might as well go for it since you need the money. If things get bad, you bail."

My back stiffened and I felt myself involuntarily grinding my teeth together. It was probably good advice, but it hadn't _been_ advice. It had been an order, one of which he had no authority to give. Being my bounty hunter teacher didn't put him in charge, not really anyway. "Well!, any other thoughts for me?"

"You better hope you can find him just as fast again because word is the judicial system isn't the only one looking for him."

This was totally a 'word on the street' kind of information. Why hadn't he told me this before? If I ever talked to him again, I was brining a pair of pliers to pull teeth with, yeesh. "Are you sure about this rumor? It sounds sorta crazy. Wait, did I misinterpret what you said? You meant a _contract_ right? Like a special early death certificate?"

He just nodded so I had to assume that meant yes all around.

I felt like I was in a movie and I can assure you, they wouldn't have cast me as the heroine for anything other than a straight to VHS spoof comedy. I wished I'd watched more crime TV and less food network. "Do you think I even stand a chance?"

"No."

Asshole. He was supposed to sugar coat it and tell me I could do anything. I wondered if he'd change his tune if he knew I had a furry friend too. I doubted it though, what good could a coyote do against a brain smoothie bullet? It didn't matter though, bullet or no bullet, Joe Morelli was the less frightening future.

"Are you going to train me anyway, _sensei_?"

He sighed and stood up, nudging me to do the same and move toward the cash register. "Yes, I'll help you. You're going to keep it a secret. I don't want it getting out that I'm saving damsels in distress from starvation or incompetence."

That was fine by me. I didn't really have anyone to tell. If I told anyone if would get back to my mother and she'd lock me away. "Okay, what's first?" I followed him out into the parking lot after he'd paid.

He walked me over to my Nova. "First we're getting you outfitted. While we do that, I'm going to tell you about the law." He glanced down at the oil puddle under my car then gave me a cheerful look. "Should get that fixed."

"How expensive is this lesson going to be? If I'm going to need to tear hubcaps off that to pay for everything, you better let me know now."

He opened the car door for me then stiffened. "You have a pet?"

I was going to make this hard for him. There was no way he'd tell me that he'd smelt something animal if he thought I was human and I was curious about how he'd explain himself. "I do, but he hasn't been in a car since I bought him. Why? There isn't hair or anything in there. I just bought this car this morning."

He actually looked lost for the first time since I'd met him. "It's nothing. I'd just thought that maybe if you had a dog you could bring it with you. A dog would pick up sounds better than you and might keep you safer." Huh, _doubtful_ since dogs can't stand being around me but it was an Oscar worthy cover up. "I won't charge you for my time...or the snack since I like you and this has been an interesting experience for me. You're going to have to buy your own equipment though and handcuffs run about $40 a pair. Can you cover that?"

Oh, sweet Jesus. I was out of things to sell unless I was ready to be bedless. Maybe it was finally time to break out the emergency fund. The money I'd planned on using to keep me fed without eating meals at my parents'. I slid into the car and threw my head back in frustration. The seat decided that would be a good time to break and I was thrown back into a recline position. I groaned, "why me?" before nodding yes to Ranger then following him out of the lot.

* * *

RPOV:

IT WAS A few minutes early but I'd become restless with waiting for Connie's mystery man to show up. I kept myself still, stoic and alert despite my inner agitation. Something about the woman who'd entered last had my hackles rising. She'd been normal enough; pretty, a little rough around the edges, human, harmless. I listened to her order and was eased by her smokey voice. Nothing weird there, no slight lisp from fangs, modern speech unlike most fey, _no_ reason to be troubled and yet I was.

Her heeled clicked towards me but I remained focused on the parking lot. He should be here any minute, Vinnie's office wasn't that far from here. A soft hand was suddenly in my line of sight. "Hi. I'm your new trainee." _Her_? Connie sent me her? A human woman. No wonder she'd been so vague on the phone and told me to play nice. The woman offered me a blinding smile but I could sense her nerves. She didn't want to be here anymore than I did.

I mentally groaned then stood to offer her the seat across from me. I wasn't sure if I was willing to teach her anything. It would make me responsible to any harm that came to her and she certainly wasn't cut out for this job like I was. She was fragile, dainty. She belonged somewhere else, not on the dirty streets chasing after potentially violent criminals. I had nothing against female BEAs but most of the ones I knew were meaner than me.

I sat then decided I could convince her to give it up without making her feel like a failure or quitter. Any type of harm, physical or emotional, was sitting ill with me. "I wasn't expecting..._you_."

She gave me another nervous smile but tried to cover this one up with a swig of her drink. "Um, this is a pity job that Connie offered me. I'd appreciate any help you can offer. If you can turn me into a badass fugitive apprehension agent, that would be even better."

Dammit, something had to be wrong with me. First she has me at attention from across the room, then I struggle with the idea of her pain and _now_ the sadness in her eyes makes me want to fix her problems for her. I avoided her eyes and took in her appearance; tousled hair, a smudge of dirty on her cheek, a giant oil stain on her breast... Maybe I could make it through this meeting if I kept my eyes focused down there. I grinned, "What happened? You run into trouble already?"

"I'm in a _mid_-midlife crisis right now. I actually have to contemplate homelessness versus moving in with my parents. And to make everything worse, _look_ at my car!" She pointed out the shittiest car in the parking lot. I winced picturing her under the car when she got the oil on her shirt. My version had the rusted undercarriage crushing her to death. I felt another presence in me stir and immediately tamped it down. "Ouch. Looks like a death trap."

Her look told me the car was probably the least of her worries and I felt the presence stir again. "As long as it takes me with it when it goes and doesn't get me abandoned somewhere I don't mind. That beauty cost me the few joys I have in life and I _need_ them back. I need the money from this job, bad."

She was hiding something,_ something_ she didn't want to share with me. Her desperate voice inflection had changed on the word money but only slightly. I was surprised I'd picked up on it. It had taken me years to tune into the people in my life this well. "There are easier jobs to get some fast money from." I gave her a chance to tell me before I asked and pulled it from her.

She gave me a cautious look. "Okay, so it's not _just_ money...I have a personal investment in this as well."

_Great_, emotional involvement was never good in my opinion. Emotions led to mistakes and mistakes led to... a place I didn't want to return to. Emotions were likely to get this woman killed. You can't go after an FTA with anything other than a clear head or your liable to miss something, like a knife or gun. "Making it personal is dangerous. Unless you're able to set it aside and think, you'll end up hurt."

She gave me a hurt look. Damn, if I hadn't actually felt it cut through me. There had to be something about her that I was missing.

"Do _you_ do it just for the money?"

Do what? _Huh_? Now I was actually getting lost during a conversation. Something about this has me in the twilight zone because I wasn't acting anything like myself. I tried to focus back on her question. Finally breaking through the fog she'd shrouded me in, "I do it because it happens to be one of the things I'm best at."

What the fuck? The woman did a 180 after I responded to her question. Maybe I'd fallen down the rabbit hole and answered a different question than I thought. A cocky remark from me had suddenly relaxed her and she was all brilliant smiles. Smiles I couldn't have torn my gaze from even if I wanted to. Her ease and happiness had relaxed something in me that I hadn't even noticed was tense until now.

Around a smile she told me, "I just need to be halfway decent this one time, then I can go about moping again for a while."

Brain dead to her smile I said, "Alright, let's get started. Who's your skip?"

Her heart rate picked up and a look of devious pleasure filled her eyes. "Joseph Morelli."

_Her_, a little timid mouse, was pitting herself against a hard ass potentially murderous cop. _And _she was excited about it. I was sure there was a story behind it, but right now I couldn't hold back genuine laughter. I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed, let alone done so around a woman I'd just met. I'd surprised her, hell I'd surprised myself, but she spilled her milkshake all over the table and looked down at the mess like the world had ended.

I could see now why Connie had bullied me into coming here to help her out. She was likable, nearly impossible not to warm up to. "Oh, this is _good_. No wonder Connie wanted to get you help." I had a feeling she was the type of woman to make men do crazy things. I could hold nearly everyone in my life at arms length and already I was struggling to say no to her.

I pulled myself together but my control slipped for a moment and I finally realized what I'd been sensing earlier. My wolf was pushing to the forefront. He wanted control. He'd sensed the woman as soon as she'd walked into the cafe and felt her like a thunderbolt. He wanted to enjoy her. Her joy had soothed both him and his human companion but now that she was irritated and the topic of her safety up, he needed to be heard. The wolf didn't let those weaker than him walk into danger. The wolf was certainly not going to let this woman get hurt.

I snapped back to the cafe. The wolf had left my mind but he was still upset. A downside to being were was that you aren't really one person any more. You have two haves that often live in peace with one another but they do war occasionally. I hadn't slipped this far into my wolf since I'd been on active duty and needed the protection he offered my psyche. The pull back and forth between myself and my other half left me raw. "You're never catching him. He actually knows what he's doing and he's good. He's not some old lady who forgot to pay her bills and then forgot her hearing date. He's a cop accused of murder. You get why this is crazy, right?"

I hadn't meant to take it out on her but I was walking a fine line. It's not like I could explain to her what had just happened either. It was probably better for her in the long run anyway. I needed to get away, figure out what was going on, why I was losing hard earned control over myself. Pushing her to leave was best.

Instead of leaving or even appearing put off, she dug her heels in. "Connie said you'd help me."

I had to admire her tenacity even if it wasn't working toward my goal. "I'm not a miracle worker, Sweet Thing." Oh, Dios. Now she's getting pet names from me. It fit her, sweet as she was. I could even pick up her own smell of sugar under the oil spill.

Her eyes sparked but she covered up her anger with innocent movements. She gritted out, "Okay, _look_. I get that I'm not tough and muscular like you. Desperate times makes me a desperate lady though and I'm willing to put my all into this. I've been jobless for half a year. My mother threatened to treat me to daily lunches with her. I lost my hockey tickets and my TV. I can't take much more and I'm hungry as hell. You're more than welcome to keep taking stabs at me but you better be teaching me something while you do."

Thoughts of pushing her away left my mind as I heard about her troubles. She really did sound desperate and I'd rather teach her something than send her out on her own. She would definitely tackle Morelli with or without my assistance instead of just giving in. "Sounds like a deal. What's your name, by the way?"

She looked relived and my wolf settled further. If keeping her happy and safe was what it was going to take to settle my other half, than I was in for a long ride.

"Oh! I'm Stephanie Plum. You can call me Steph. Connie said I was supposed to call you Ranger?" Hmm... Stephanie Plum. A relative of Vinnie's? Now I could figure out why he'd hired her. Vinnie liked money and Stephanie wasn't a sure bet. I'd assumed he'd been desperate after Beyers' hospitalization and I'd refused to go after Morelli. He was a good cop. I was pretty sure he was using his time on the run to clear his name and if I went after him, he wouldn't have the time he needed.

"Yup, that's my street name."

She giggled at my reply. I had no clue why she found my reply funny but I'd been having trouble figuring her out so this wasn't surprising. She gave me Morelli's file and I began flipping through just to refresh myself, make sure Beyers hadn't added anything new since I'd first looked when Vinnie offered me the bond. Beyers had added a few newspaper articles and photos, nothing I wasn't already aware of and nothing particularly helpful.

I'd purposefully ignored Stephanie's presence across the table so when she scooted onto the bench next to me, I'd involuntarily tensed up. I didn't like people in my space. It's better to have your enemy at a distance where you can see a knife pulled. I can read body language, facial expressions and other _clues_ better with her across the table from me but I couldn't force myself to ask her to move or make her uncomfortable enough to move on her own. I liked her next to me. Liked it more than I was comfortable with. I tried ignoring her again and moved my attention back to the file. At Morelli's address, I pointed it out to her. It was an easy place to start. She wasn't likely to run into any trouble there. "You check there yet? It's a decent starting place."

"Yeah, I went there earlier today. Morelli wasn't there but I caught Mooch getting stuff out of his place. I followed him to State Street and saw Morelli before he checked out."

I was surprised to hear that not only had she already tried the apartment, but that she'd gotten lucky. So lucky that she'd seen Morelli. What where the chances of that? Could she really be human? No one is that lucky and it would explain the crazy things she was doing to me. Maybe she was part fey. Some of the fey have odd traits. I'd never heard of one with charisma and luck in abundance but they kept to themselves so it was possible.

Stephanie had taken my silence to mean I wanted her to keep talking. "And, uhh, that's it. He left, like I said."

Part of me was glad that was all that had happened but another part of me had expected more. She was giving me hell yet she'd let Morelli walk away. "You _found_ him and what, let him go? Why didn't you stop him? You could have kneed him or something. That's a pretty good girl move. Effective."

She looked embarrassed for a second. "He had a gun in his pants! I couldn't have done anything, plus it's hard to balance on these shoes. I hadn't planned on finding him so fast." I'd almost growled at hearing Morelli had a gun and she'd been close enough to see it but her indignation over the shoes had me smiling. I'd been waiting for an explanation for her outfit since she'd made it known I was to train her. The heels and skirt weren't going to be an effective FTA hunting outfit but I was glad she hadn't changed before showing up. I would have been disappointed to miss those legs.

Shaking off all thoughts of her bare legs wrapped about me and her heels digging into my back I asked, "Plan on getting a gun?"

Everyone is Jersey already has a gun and those that don't, usually have a reason for not having one. I guessed that she was afraid of them. I couldn't picture her using a gun anyway even to save herself. She didn't want to show me any weakness and it was obvious that she knew the gun to person ratio of the area, "On a scale from one to ten, how necessary is it that I invest in a gun? I don't have much left to pawn off. Could I substitute? Maybe I could work up to one."

_Dios_, if she was going to be taking on criminals she at least needed to have a gun as an option. A gun was likely to frighten many of the pettier ones into doing as told. Knowing she was going to blow off the idea of a gun, I purposefully pricked her pride hoping that she would want to prove me wrong and just get one, or at least be more willing to carry other weapons. "Usually I'd say a three of four, but for you I'm going to say a ten. You've seen him with a _gun_, he killed some guy with a _gun_...I'm not seeing another solution for you."

She wanted to argue so I tried playing on her fear instead. "He used a .45 hydroshock on Ziggy Kulesza's head. Do you know what that does? The bullet went in nice and neat between his eyes then went out the other side making a fist sized hole. His brains would have looked a lot like your milkshake."

Fear didn't seem to be working all that well either. She did look like she was struggling to keep the milkshake from making a reappearance though. "Wow, that's _great_. Maybe, if you're lucky, when my milkshake comes back up, none of it will get on you."

I wasn't sure if I had won the gun issue but I had no real ammunition to continue with so let it drop for now. "Not my goal. Gotta know your target though, it will help."

She started telling me about Morelli's case and I listened for the most part. When she started blinking heavily and laid her head down on the table, I became concerned. Something wasn't right. Something was off with her. I was missing _something_. Was she sick? Her face was turned toward me and her breathing evened out and slowed. She was asleep. One moment she was pumped that she'd remembered case facts and the next she was passed out on the table.

I remembered she had been complaining about being hungry and hoped a little sugar might wake her up. When a waitress walked by, I signaled and told her, "Pie. Whichever kind has the most sugar." My expression must have frightened her because the waitress nearly ran to the display case and hurried back with a huge chuck. As soon as the pie was on the table, Stephanie's eyelids fluttered open and all of her attention was on the pie.

A look for pure ecstasy crossed her face and a loud moan followed her first bite of pie and continued throughout the experience. This pleasure wasn't stirring the wolf, it was instead stirring me a little below the waist. I shifted allowing myself a little more space and hoped the scent and obviousness of my arousal would ease up.

Stephanie granted me a man killer smile once the pie was gone. I couldn't think of any supernaturals that had a heart connected to their stomach so I was still confused. The pie had her completely rejuvenated. "Feeling better?"

She gave me a surprisingly simple answer. There had to be more to Stephanie Plum than a rough day and an empty stomach. Hell, she'd _just_ had the milkshake.

I gave up for the moment and moved on, "Let's keep going then. What else do you know?"

Stephanie summarized Morelli's arrest and the circumstances. She had been... _politely_ licking the plate clean as she did so and her previous moans ran through my head easily. If she hadn't noticed my previous interest, she did now. I was struggling to tear my gaze from her mouth as she sensuously lapped her fingers of pie filling. She smiled at me, pleased that I'd been distracted and staring. _Women_... didn't get them.

I smirked, playing her game right back, and asked, "Know anything more about Carmen?"

I wasn't sure she'd heard me because as I was asking, the waitress walked by with a piece of pie for another table. She was a moth to the pie's flame. The waitress had those flat shoes on that didn't make any noise so I was confused as to how Stephanie had noticed it. Was it possible that she had an extrasensory skill? "Got a food radar in there?"

I'd hoped for a clue because I wanted reassurance that I wasn't just seeing things where they weren't but she easily replied, "_What_! So I like food! The sweeter, the better."

Maybe her earlier nap had been a reverse sugar coma. "Stuff's bad for you."

She rolled her eyes at me and then steered the conversation back to her skip.

Normally I didn't have much faith in cops but the reason I was sure of Morelli was that Ziggy had a bad news name attached to him. I didn't want to mention him in front of Stephanie. I also didn't want her hearing the name later and foolishly rushing in either. There was an idiom that perfectly described her and that had me worried. She was a babe in the wood; an innocent who _would_ get hurt by others because of it.

"That's pretty good. I have a little more info for you. Ziggy was working for Benito Ramirez when Morelli shot him. Name mean anything to you?" I spoke cautiously hoping that she'd tell me fighting was 'icky' or something else on par with her heels comment.

"He's a boxer."

I groaned. How was I supposed to tell her that his being a boxer was barely the tip of the iceberg? Ramirez was _so_ much more than a boxer. He was a womanizer, possibly a killer and a little something more... but I couldn't think about that. It wouldn't matter as long as he was in the public eye, I could do nothing about it and the babe in the woods would think I was crazy if I told her. I passed on as much information about him as I dared. I wanted her to he wary of him and also not feel like he might be a break in the case that she needed. I finished off with, "Be careful around him, babe. He's not a man to mess with."

She shivered at my tone but otherwise look unaffected. "Do you know anything else? Like maybe what the whole meeting was about. You'd know stuff like that, right? _Street name_ and all..."

Was that what had made her giggle? Dios, _definitely_ a babe in the woods. I bet she'd never even seen the streets. "Nothing. If self-defense wasn't the real reason for the shooting, Morelli probably had a good reason to shoot him anyway. He's levelheaded, doesn't do rash shit unlike some cops."

"Everyone acts stupidly eventually though. It's a natural law or something." I nearly laughed again. There was probably nothing left in this world that was completely natural anymore. Everything moves towards chaos was also surprisingly fitting right now.

Going for simple I said, "No, not Morelli." A flash of images from Benito's latest conquest flooded me. Babe had replaced the brutally raped and beaten woman. I felt my wolf claw to the surface, furious and protective. I let him for a moment and took several sips of water to keep my eyes averted from her. Allowing the wolf out in her presence was dangerous but he needed to see that she was unharmed and safe. Before I was able to completely push him below the surface, I found myself searching out her gaze as she ground out, "_You're_ not telling me something. What is it?"

The wolf did not like her demand. He would protect her. She didn't need to know the darkness he knew so well. "I'm _telling_ you to be careful."

Her wide eyes and startled expression allowed me to rein the wolf in. He didn't want her frightened of us so he gave in easily. I quickly tried to divert her thoughts, hoping that she would just think she'd been seeing things. "So, are you still going to go after him?"

She stuttered, "I-I'm sure." I was disappointed to see that I had frightened and unnerved her. She had been nearly matching me all afternoon and I'd ruined the easy partnership we had. "Is there a reason I should change my mind?"

Not wanting her to high tail it away from me I offered a vague answer, "If you give him up, someone else will just be after him. Might as well go for it since you need the money. If things get bad, you bail."

She stiffened next to me at my last statement and was back to herself. "_Well_!, any other thoughts for me?"

Now, while she was mad and feisty, was probably the best time to tell her that everything was going to be tougher for her. "You better hope you can find him just as fast again because word is the judicial system isn't the only one looking for him."

She gave me an incredulous look. "Are you sure about this rumor? It sounds sorta crazy. Wait, did I misinterpret what you said? You meant a _contract _right? Like a special early death certificate?"

I just nodded, enjoying that she wasn't beaten down so easily and always managed to get back on her feet.

"Do you think I even stand a chance?"

I didn't want to disappoint her by letting her get her hopes. I also wanted to prickle her a little more. "No."

The smell of sugar and oil increased as her rage picked up and her blood quickened. If we had been anywhere else, and I hadn't bought her pie, I bet I could have expected a right hook.

"Are you going to train me anyway, _sensei_?" The last word coming out as a sarcastic growl.

Of course I was, did she really have to ask? I liked her fire enough to continue, simply sighing and moving us to the register to pay. "Yes, I'll help you. You're going to keep it a secret. I don't want it getting out that I'm saving damsels in distress from starvation or incompetence."

Instead of the fire I'd been expecting she vibrated with excitement next to me. "Okay, what's first?"

As we walked to her car, I answered her. The massive oil spill under the car had me picturing her perky breasts again. I smiled at her, sneaking a peak at them, just as a refresher. "Should get that fixed."

"How expensive is this lesson going to be? If I'm going to need to tear hubcaps off that that pay for everything, you better let me know now."

She'd left the car unlocked, not safe Babe, so I opened the door to usher her in. A scent near my own wafted out, fur and the outdoors. There was nothing else like it but I hoped it was innocuous despite this. "You have a pet?"

She gave me a wide eyed, innocent look that told me she knew exactly what I was talking about. Of course she wasn't one to confess though. "I do, but he hasn't been in a car since I bought him. Why? There isn't hair or anything in there. I _just_ bought this car this morning."

I hadn't known the car was so recently hers. Maybe the scent was from the previous owners? Maybe she knew them and that was what the faux innocent look had been about. Covering my tracks I said, "It's nothing. I'd just thought that maybe if you had a dog, you could bring it with you. A dog would pick up sounds better than you do and might keep you safer." It was true. Not my truth, but true. I moved on before she was given another chance to ask questions. "I won't charge you for my time...or the snack since I like you and this has been an interesting experience for me. You're going to have to buy your own equipment though and handcuffs run about $40 a pair. Can you cover that?"

She looked at her car then down at her shirt, looking more helpless than ever. And Dios help me, the more pathetic her look, the more I wanted to hold her.

**

* * *

Ending A/N: Sooo? Was it everything you hoped of and more? Once again, I apologize for sticking to the original so closely. It's hard to mix it up when so many of the Morelli facts are interspersed that actually need to remain the same and there was no space for an extra scene. I hope added Ranger's POV added enough new stuff to make it interesting. I also added as many mini scenes as I could while keeping it reasonable for their first meeting.**

**In the next chapter you can expect Steph's thoughts on Ranger and their meeting/shopping trip as well as whatever plot we have next. The first A/N note already explains why I didn't include them here. This chapter has a bunch of breadcrumbs in it about where I'm planning to take the main plot, happy hunting.**

**Also! Like my explanation of 'Babe'? I thought it was very fitting for this Ranger. Sure he's always been physically attracted to her but I felt Babe came from a stronger background than just her appearance.**


	4. Shake a Tail

**A/N: It's nearing the end of my second year of Uni so I've been spending a lot of my free time complaining about needing to study instead of writing. This chapter was written between classes so I'll apologize now for any feelings of discontinuity you have while reading. There's some pop culture stuff in this chapter, which I haven't been using in previous chapters. I think that I was fairly obvious about everything but if you have any questions about them, I'm happy to answer.**

**Once again, thank you for all the inspiring reviews, alerts, and favs. Sorry for the wait for this chapter! I responded to all of the reviews since I posted the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this next installment of Ms. Plum and Mrs. Mazur's antics.**

**All of the characters you know and love were borrowed from the lovely Ms. Evanovich. They will be returned to her in due time. Maybe never since I'm having so much fun.**

* * *

Chapter Four: Shake a Tail

I SAT ON the kitchen table swinging my feet while staring out the window into the parking lot. I had a box seat view of my Nova from here. It was a depressing sight. My senior neighbors had taken all of the good spots as usual so I was once again forced to park by the overflowing dumpster farthest from the building. I wished I could say that the dumpster smell was what was bothering me, but it wasn't. I'd parked only minutes ago and there was already an Olympic pool of oil marking my spot. I couldn't afford to buy more oil and the Nova _had_ to be getting low. There was also no way in hell I was going to carry Morelli on my back if I ever did catch him so I really needed the it functioning.

I hadn't changed my shirt yet from my mechanic skills this morning. I was still debating on whether or not it would distract my mother long enough for me to be able to slip in that I _technically_ wasn't a file clerk. Knowing my luck, my plan would just backfire and she would just bitch twice as much.

I absently rubbed the spot as I remembered how I'd caught Ranger glancing down at it several times throughout the day. I was actually a little disappointed that I couldn't tell if he'd been ogling me or simply amazed with how gross I'd managed to get. It wasn't fair, he'd looked perfect the whole time. He didn't even sweat and trust me, I'd been checking... _okay_, ogling. He had no right to look so good while I was having a typical sweaty, dirty, poofy haired day.

Ranger really confused me. I'd been too on edge while actually around him but now that I was alone I realized that he really got under my skin and I was pretty sure that I didn't mind. I'd constantly been waiting for him to discover that I was a little more than human and turn on me, but he never did. He had actually been fairly relaxed in my presence, at least he was when we weren't fighting. I had actually wanted to relax too, especially after he bought me pie, but I couldn't let myself. Something about Ranger was different from what I knew. How could I even want to relax around him let alone stand being near him at all?

The little I knew about werewolves came from hocus pocus my mother and grandmother had fed me growing up. Grandma Mazur had told me whatever she'd seen on TV while my mother told me horror stories. I'd ignored most of what they passed on, considering my mother just wanted me as fearful as possible to keep me from seeking them out and my grandmother got her information from sources like A Werewolf in London.

I hadn't run across a single werewolf until my post-graduation road trip with Mary Lou. It had been my turn driving and Mary Lou was drooling all over her seat belt. I wasn't sure when my next chance to shift without freaking her out would be, so I'd pulled over at the first gas station I came to. We were in the middle of nowhere at night so I wasn't too worried about being seen. I wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings after shifting either, I was too focused on how good it felt to not be cramped up in the car. I was lopping along, enjoying the night when I heard growling behind me. My first thought certainly wasn't werewolf so I simply stopped and turned to look. Three pairs of reflective eyes had stared back at me and the menacing growls had gotten louder. When the first one stepped forward and I saw that it was not only a wolf, but a massive wolf, I panicked and took off running. Totally a stupid idea. I'd turned it into a game for them and they began hunting me. While freaking out, a _brilliant_ thought slipped into my mind: _hey, they're people too. Maybe they're just confused and will leave me alone when I show them I'm a person too!_ So I stopped and shifted back to a human. Big fucking difference that made. That had only let them get closer to killing me. I took a chance on something Grandma Mazur had told me when she'd watched an Animal Planet special on wolves. Supposedly they had too low a fat to muscle ratio to swim and would sink like a rock in water. I ran naked to the lake we'd previously been avoiding and threw myself in. The werewolves had stalked along the shore before deciding I wasn't worth the effort to shift and follow me in their own human form.

It's perfectly reasonable for the idea of being around werewolves to make me want to tuck my tail between my legs and run or, you know, canoe out deep to open water. Being around Ranger hadn't made me flash back to this trauma though. In fact, I couldn't see a repeat of this at all with Ranger. I knew better than to drop my guard around him, but he honestly made me feel a little warm and fuzzy. I scowled a little bit at that, feeling even more confused. I mean, how much did I know about him? Other than that he was a BEA for Vinnie and was completely delicious, I didn't really know anything important about him. I couldn't really ask how he felt about killing me either.

I sighed and decided it was time for some pick-me-up TastyKakes. I'd stored them in the refrigerator to keep the chocolate coating from melting. They looked pretty pathetic sitting in there by themselves. I took a huge bite and tried to get my mind off of Ranger. All I could come up with was the empty fridge and all the money I had blown today that I'd been depending on to buy food with. It was quickly looking like dinner would be with my parents again not only tonight, but for the foreseeable future.

My snack didn't do anything to deserve depressing thoughts so I let myself drift back to Ranger. He was nothing like the weres I'd _played_ with. I'd never felt scared or even uncomfortable when I had been purposely pushing his buttons. Hell, I'd even been a little turned on when I'd asked him how to use the handcuffs I'd planned to buy. He'd smirked then handcuffed me to the rack while he finished shopping for me.

Going even further against what I was sure I knew about werewolves, Ranger may have been beyond bossy but he had never once tried to pull any alpha crap with me to force me to do anything. I honestly wasn't sure that his alpha magic would be able to force me to comply, being a walker, but I really didn't want to chance it. He'd tried manipulating me into his desired responses but never once ignored what I wanted. Maybe keeping me guessing and confused was part of his strategy. One moment we would be arguing and the next he would be grinning at me, he would boss me around and when I resisted he didn't seem to mind and all the while infuriating me I'd somehow end up hot and bothered.

Thinking wasn't going to get me anywhere tonight and I didn't really think I would be seeing Ranger again anytime soon. I ignored my disappointment and wallowed in my dread of dinnertime. I glanced at the clock one last time then quickly left; it's best to be facing death, right?

The elevator was occupied when I stepped in. "-believe how _ugly_ that car is? It's going to permanently stain the lot. Oh, Stephanie dear! Have you seen the oil spill out in the lot? Bertie and I are going out to write down the license plate so we can complain to the building super."

Isn't that nice? _Just_ what I was missing out on today, some sort of extra fine tacked onto my rent that I also couldn't pay. "How terrible!" I grimaced at my sarcasm and hoped they hadn't noticed. "It's still sweltering outside. If you'd like, I can write the plate down for you. I'll even bring the paper to you, so that you can get the credit when you complain."

They tittered together then nodded while stuffing a buffet receipt and a pen into my hand. I smiled and waved as I got left the lobby and hung my head as I thought about taking the stairs later to avoid them. I suck at stairs, just a flight leaves me crabby but all the way up to my floor was going to make me sweaty and irritable with a stitch in my side.

I was pulling up in front of my parents' all too soon. I had taken the long way too making me twelve minutes late. No one had their face pressed against the window awaiting my arrival, which was good. I didn't want my mother to ask me to park several houses down to keep the Nova and it's accompanying mess away from the house. It was too hot to walk and I was hungry. I was also hoping that if my stained shirt didn't distract her, that the car might.

I grabbed the black leather shoulder bag that I'd bought earlier today to house my other goodies and began my own personal walk of shame up the walkway. I didn't bother knocking, my mother was expecting me. Everyone was already seated and eating when I slumped into the remaining chair next to Grandma Mazur. She gave me a grin then helped herself to seconds before I took whatever was left. There was no 'all for one and one for all' mentality in my family. We had mutated the 'early bird gets the worm' to 'whomever is twelve minutes late to dinner starves in silence.'

I took a roll and dipped it right into the gravy boat before stuffing most of it into my mouth. "You're late and I taught you better than that. Where are your manners?" My mother's plate was loaded it was out of reach of both myself and daddy so she apparently felt it was safe to take the time to harp instead of eat.

I wasn't sure if it was my impressive mouth capacity that had her upset or if she had expected me to call and let her know I was late. I took a chance on her expecting a phone call, "I was working. I don't have a cell phone anymore, remember? I have no money."

She practically snarled at me. A day hadn't been enough time for her to forget what a disgrace I was. "You could have been dead for all we knew! We expected you here at six. What would the neighbors say if you had been in a car accident and I hadn't known?" I was pretty sure they would feel bad for her and make her cakes and cookies but I wasn't going to say that out loud. I was also pretty sure that if I were in a ditch somewhere bleeding, that I wouldn't be concerned about the neighbors but that's just me. I wasn't sure if I should bring up the Nova now though. It definitely wasn't a top safety rated car, in fact the only award that it might get is a shock value one that it's still running.

Grandma Mazur wanted a chance to complain too, "You're working overtime on the first day? If Vinnie thinks he can overwork my granddaughter just because she's family, he's got another thing comin'." She turned to my father who shrank back and tried to become invisible while also trying to eat at warp speed. "Frank, you take me over there so I can give that moldy rat carcass a piece of my mind."

Vinnie would fire me for any reason but if Grandma Mazur went down their in all her smack talking glory, I wouldn't stand a chance. "Wait, Grandma! I chose to work that long." It was too early in dinner to be feeling this panicky. I couldn't afford last night's verbal diarrhea this soon. "My hours are flexible. I can work whenever I want. I can eat doughnuts all morning and work in the afternoon if I want. Or!-or I don't have to work at all. Isn't that great, grandma?"

Grandma Mazur looked at me like I was crazy, which wasn't a good sign. When she thought I was crazy, I couldn't expect to fool anyone else. "You're a pip, Stephanie, but isn't it hard filing if you aren't there? Vinnie isn't making you do any of that sexual stuff he does for money, is he? Vinnie is family and he definitely isn't a catch, he's to greasy to have a good package."

Just another day in the Plum household, talking about Vinnie's downstairs at the dinner table. I wished I could say this was the first time Grandma Mazur had brought this up. "No, I'm not doing _anything_ like that for Vinnie." I giggled before added, "Plus I don't quack." She beamed at me then picked up my purse from between us.

"Groovy new pocketbook, Steph. Where'd you get this? I wanna get one of them. It's very biker chick, don't ya think?" She started opening it when I quickly dived for it. We wrestled over the purse for a few seconds when my chair mysteriously lost two of its legs and I toppled onto my ass in a heap. I stared at grandma shocked while she held the bag over her head away from me looking beyond pleased with herself.

I gasped and turned to my mother, "Did _you_ see that? Grandma just used magic to steal my purse!" I turned to daddy but his seat was empty. In the chaos he had slipped out and probably barricaded himself in the garage. I sighed and laid back in the floor waiting for Grandma Mazur to find the handcuffs and re-ask the question about sex with Vinnie.

"What's in your purse, Stephanie?" My mother didn't even blink at a broken chair or me sprawled on the floor. She wanted to know what I was hiding.

"Yeah, what's in this thing? It's real heavy." My eyes popped open. Grandma Mazur had the purse stuffed behind her back away from my mother. I wondered if she thought that it might be something dirty I could share with her that my mother might take away.

Maybe I could keep my answer vague and I could snatch the purse when she wasn't looking. "I needed some things for my new job. Everything had to fit in my purse so I bought a new one. It's cute, isn't it?"

My mother looked confused. "What could you possibly need that required a saddle bag to fit it?"

I sighed. She didn't like the purse, which made it all that much better, but wouldn't get me off the hook any faster. "The filing job was already taken but I was able to find another job with Vinnie."

"What other job could Vinnie possibly have for you?" Was that a burn? I was pretty sure my mother had just insulted me but this was her usual tone.

"I'm a recovery agent," I mumbled hoping that she'd hear something else and just make an assumption or that she wouldn't bother asking what I meant. She still hadn't touched the meatloaf on her plate and I was feeling a little hopeful that learning my new job might make her lose her appetite.

She glared at me. "What is a recovery agent, Stephanie?"

Grandma Mazur cut in before I could answer. "I saw a commercial for that Repo Men movie while watching Dancing with the Stars last night. That Pamela Andersen is awful top heavy, isn't she? Anyway, these beefy men were stealing back loaned organs. Are you gonna cut open some bad guys, Steph? I bet you've got all sorts of knifes in here." She was practically bouncing in her seat now, clutching my purse to her chest and rubbing it protectively with one hand.

My mother looked horrified and I started to wonder if they even thought about what kind of business that Vinnie owned. Believing the worst was a talent my mother had though.

"No! I don't do that. I'm not a sex trade ring leader either. I'm a-" I gulped and looked back and forth between my two worst nightmares. "I'm a bounty hunter for Vinnie. It's not illegal _and_ I'm not stabbing people!"

My mother sighed loudly and calmed down but Grandma Mazur looked even more excited. "Stephanie, what are you thinking? This isn't a good job for you."

"What are you talking about, Ellen?" Grandma Mazur piped in. "This is the best job she's had yet! Steph's like a cop but she doesn't have to follow the rules. Are you going to break any knee caps, Steph? I want to help. This sounds like something that I can do too."

Vigilante grandma nearly made me pee my pants. I wanted to squash that before she took to the streets whacking little kids for jaywalking or something. "It's not like that. I just have to find FTAs that Vinnie gives me and bring them to the police station. Then they pay me." She looked a little disappointed but not nearly enough to mean I'd got my point of no roughing up anyone she felt like. Whatever, she was my mother's problem as soon as I left.

"FTA...what's that?" My mother asked suspiciously.

"It stands for 'failed to appear'."

"You mean it's those criminals who don't want to go to jail so they're in hiding."

That's pretty much what I thought too but I didn't want her to discover the handcuffs and cuff me to her to keep me from the job. "Usually they just forgot. That happens more than you'd think." I didn't sound very convincing.

"That still makes them criminals, Stephanie. How will you make it to dinner if you're in the hospital?"

Dammit, she sounded just as sure as I was that this job was going to end badly for me. I sighed. "Are you going to eat the rest of your meatloaf? I'm still a little hungry."

"You shouldn't have been late to dinner if you wanted some. Your father had worked for the post office for thirty years and was never late to dinner. He still isn't late to dinner with his new job." Yeah well, he also willingly married her. Crazy was most definitely genetic. "Get off the floor and sit in your father's seat." She angrily pushed her plate in front of his seat and I quickly dug in before she could change her mind.

My mother ran and hand over her face and gave me a tired look surprising me enough to stop my food inhalation. "I just- are you sure about this, Stephanie? You could learn to make slipcovers. That would be a good job. There's always a need for slipcovers."

I gave her a weak smile around a mouthful of meat. "I'm sure. I've looked for a job for forever and this is all I've got. There's always a need for underwear too and look how that ended up."

I almost felt us bonding until grandma added, "Oh, I'm not so sure about that. I'm not wearing any."

I surprisingly wasn't feeling up to doing any more work on finding and capturing Morelli today. The only thing that was going to let me survive to see tomorrow and get that image out of my head was sleep.

* * *

I WAS PACING from my kitchen to what I suppose I could still call the living room. I carried the zip lock bag of leftover apple turnovers that my mother had sent me home with the night before. I was on my fifth and they weren't alleviating my deep seeded fear of the Morelli women. They put my mother and grandmother to shame in nearly every aspect imaginable. When my mother was upset, she ironed and cleaned obsessively. Joseph's mother did that shit for _fun_. I shivered in disgust. I only did laundry once every piece of clothing I'd owned was dirty and even then I might happen to have my dirty clothes in the car when I stopped by to see my mother. And if she happened to notice my bra hanging out the window and huffed that my laundry would only get clean if she did it, who was I to stop her?

I knew for sure from Grandma Mazur that neither of them were witches but I sometimes wondered how she could raise a couple of boys and still maintain an immaculate house. If I didn't have an aversion to scientists that comic book movies had instilled in me, I would probably advise one to take a trip over there and learn how to eradicate the world's germs from the Morelli ladies.

After I'd given up on my witch theory, I'd tried to convince myself that they weren't possessed even though that seemed the only logical explanation for their beady black eyes. I wasn't even sure if demons were real but if I was, it seemed likely that they were too. Grandma and I had borrowed a few occult books from the library, I still couldn't go in there without the librarian crossing herself every time I walked into her field of vision. We were both a little disappointed that every book seemed to agree on demons inability to cross onto holy ground. The Morelli women _never_ missed mass. Come hell or high water, sleet, snow, and whatever plagues you want to send their way, they're both always in attendance. Not that I knew from personal experience.

Church was never a fun experience for me. My mother seemed to believe that the _other_ fit into the abomination category and the pastor was only too happy to speak on such things. I was honestly a little afraid that my mother might have an exorcism or staking or pretty much anything heinous preformed on grandma and me if I set foot in there again.

There was a better chance that I'd be struck by lightning and eaten by a shark in my apartment than there was of Mrs. Morelli telling me anything that might lead to her son. I was counting on her to lie though, that I would be able to sniff out. I'd spent some time in front of the mirror with my turnovers practicing questions that I could ask her. I'd made it through two or three before I saw my hair and declared a national emergency.

I finally decided to just suck it up and go. What was the worst that could happen? She could slam the door in my face and I'd learn nothing, big whoop. The best possible outcome was the Joe needed his mommy to wash his laundry too and just handcuffed himself then got into my car.

I slipped on a _charming_ floral sundress that my mother had boughten me when I'd tried to get out of a block party last summer. I'd told her that I had nothing appropriate to wear and that I hadn't wanted to embarrass her. The next day daddy had dropped off this atrocity with a note that said happy early birthday.

I fed Rex some apple from my breakfast before taking the stairs. The Nova was looking even more dejected that yesterday. I stepped carefully through the oil and climbed in. The car made some coughing sounds then remained lifeless. How was I supposed to suck it up and go see Mama Morelli when my car didn't want to go? I felt like this might be a sign to stay home today but I really needed money. Really, _really_ needed it.

There was no way I was walking all the way over to her house, especially in this dress. I wanted as few people as possible to see this. That left shifting and heading over there while hoping she said something helpful that my keen senses could pick up. Worst plan ever, but that worked for me yesterday.

I left the parking lot, glad that yesterday had taught me that it was closely monitored by a bunch of old birds. I slipped between the building and a neighboring building's privacy fence before pulling off my clothes and balling them up. I hoped my panty thief struck and took the dress. I shifted then began the long, hot trek to Morelli manor.

It was hot and I had to stop to hide several times when weirdos took to back alleys like I was instead of using the sidewalk. When I nearly got pissed on behind some trash bins, I promised myself to pick up a collar and tags and hope that I would be mistaken for a house dog in the future. There was no way I was subjecting myself to this again.

I reached my destination nearly an hour later feeling severly worse for wear. I snuffled around the back of Mama Morelli's yard for a bit before clambering up some crates and nearly tore the rain gutter from the garage as I pulled myself onto the roof. There was a window cracked right next to me since she, thankfully, had a connecting garage. I could hear her cooking and shuffling around downstairs fairly well. Well enough that if she took up talking to herself and happened to slip Joseph's location that I would have no problem hearing it anyway.

I had only been waiting for a half hour when the phone rang. I stuck my muzzle through the crack and nudge the window up further while she was distracted. I vaulted through the window and snuck as far as I dared down the stairs toward the kitchen. I couldn't make out who was on the other end of the phone but I heard Mrs. Morelli say, "Oh, Mrs. Mazur. How nice of you to call" quite clearly.

I mentally groaned, there was no way this phone call was going to benefit me. And Grandma Mazur clearly thought we were a team still. I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was saying and I was going to strangle myself once with was over for letting Joe's name slip on my way out last night. How could I have been _so_ dense?

Mrs. Morelli's snort brought me sharply back to reality. What did grandma say to get that reaction? Not good, _so_ not good. "Is she now? I was unaware that your darling granddaughter was qualified to be a bounty hunter." The thing about grandma is she had no problem fibbing if she thought it would benefit her. I could almost hear her telling Mrs. Morelli about how I'd just got my mastered aikido after only a week or how I'd single handedly captured all of America's most wanted last month.

"I don't care that you're looking for Joe. I'm sure he has a perfectly reasonable excuse for what he's doing." Dammit, Grandma Mazur and I were definitely a team. And Mrs. Morelli still hadn't said anything helpful. She'd added an opinion qualifier to 'reasonable excuse' but even then her idea of that could simply be staying out of jail so that wouldn't help me.

"_Excuse_ me? Are you _threatening_ me? Put Ellen on the phone, please." There was a deathly long pause where I was left in terror wondering what grandma had possibly said that made it necessary to talk to my mother. "Did you know both your daughter and mother have _guns_? _And_ your mother just threatened my life if I didn't tell her where my Joseph is!" I heard a screech that must have been my mother before Mrs. Morelli slammed the phone down angrily several times. She went right back to cooking as if nothing ever happened after her fit.

I left the house back through the window and carefully lowered myself back to the sweet, sweet ground. I slowly made my way back to my apartment, shaking at the thought of confronting my mother about the gun later. I hoped to hell that she didn't think I had put grandma up to that phone call. Here I was at thirty year old, and Mrs. Morelli had tattled on me and I _knew_ I was going to get into trouble. This wasn't a fifteen minutes in the timeout chair offense either. This was a no dessert until you horrify me with something else offense.

My dress was sadly exactly where I left it. I put everything on and dragged myself up the stairs back to my apartment. I laid down on the floor to catch my breath and cool off. My answering machine was flashing, signaling that I had a message. I was willing to bet my remaining apple turnovers that it was from my mother. I grabbed the phone and called my cousin, Francie, to put off listening to the message for a while.

Francie was a gossip monger. She was probably useless, but it meant having a legitimate excuse I could give my mother for why I hadn't immediately called her back. If I didn't have to pay for the calls I made, I would have been willing to go through the whole phone book before calling my mother back.

Francie was even more useless than I'd expected. She had however, made me feel even more depressed after telling me how brilliant Morelli would be at disappearing and starting a new life then going on and on about how pathetic a detective I would be.

Grandma Mazur had the right idea to call people for information. You can't get shot over the phone. I flipped through my contacts until someone helpful popped out. Just as I got ready to dial Eddie Gazarra's number, my mother called again so I cleaned my bedroom for a few minutes while singing loudly to the radio to tune her voice out. I didn't want to hear her death threats just yet.

Once I deemed it safe, I returned to the phone. Eddie Gazarra was a Trenton cop like Morelli. Gazarra had the privileged of being one of my best friends though. He had also married into my family. I think he'd gotten tricked into marrying Shirley the Whiner but I didn't mind. Eddie and Shirley had been married for eleven years and he was my friend, so maybe he just had a thing for whining. I had nothing on Shirley though. He had to attend all the family events with me which made drunk grandma and perverted Vinnie so much more bearable.

"Heya, Eddie." I tried sounding cheerful but it came out a little desperate.

"Hey, kid. What do you need?" I could tell he was smiling, asshole.

I didn't bother covering up my irritation this time as I told him about my new job with Vinnie and my very own FTA. "Sooo, do you know anything about the shooting that us mere public don't?"

He sighed and I felt a little better. Misery _really_ does love company. "Jesus, why are you working for Vinnie? Were you drunk? Did he blackmail you into it or something?"

See, Gazarra was much more reasonable that Grandma Mazur. I was a million times more likely to be a permanent drunk than be trading sex for money with Vinnie. I knew we were friends for a good reason. "It's of my own free will, sadly. Thank you for your concern. Wait, if I had said yes, would you have been able to arrest Vinnie?" Arresting Vinnie was almost as joy bringing as Morelli's. The only thing that tipped Morelli in my favor was the attached cash.

He chuckled then sighed again. "You really don't want to get involved in this. None of us at the station wants to be involved. When one of us gets charged with murder, we're all put on edge and get touchy. You won't be getting any favors from us, you know, other than me because we're family, friends, _whatever_. Get Vinnie to give you a different case."

"I can't. You know how Morelli gets me, all psycho. I'm way past giving this up."

"Tell me you're at least prepared for this?"

I dumped my purse out and started telling him about all the great stuff Ranger and I bought. "I got handcuffs, a flashlight, some really great personalized business cards and uh...maybe uh a gun."

"Shit, you got yourself a gun?" He almost sounded impressed with me.

I scowled, "I had a little help from another bounty hunter. I'm not _completely_ clueless. Are you gonna actually tell me anything? I've already had BEA 101 and sorta aced it." 'Sorta' in this context meant 'totally didn't', I didn't want to worry Gazarra though.

I heard Gazarra slamming stuff around then shut a door. "I can't believe I just shut myself in the men's room to talk to you. Okay _look_, there's a ton of physical evidence against Morelli, a whole shit load. He was apprehended with the smoking gun still in his hand at the scene and then told us some story that we have a big ol' goose egg of evidence to back up. Ziggy had no weapon that we can find and there was no proof that he'd ever had one, no gun shoot residue, no shell casings, _hell_, no bullets in Morelli's side of the wall."

He hadn't told me anything I could use other than it seemed even more likely that Morelli was actually guilty. Gazarra hadn't actually come out and said it though, which did mean something to me. "Why are you hiding in the bathroom?" I couldn't believe I had just asked him that. It really wasn't any wonder why people thought I couldn't do this bounty hunting thing.

He laughed. "Only you... Morelli's name gets mention around here and suddenly everyones got urgent business out of the building. Nobody wants to be attached to this case. If Morelli's innocent, anyone working the case will be hung out to dry, but if he is guilty... we don't talk about that. He's doing a damn good job of making things look bad for himself too, fucking going Failure to Appear..."

"Wanna team up? If I catch him I get ten grand. Right now Grandma Mazur is _helping_ me out and she's already made threats to Mama Morelli and bought her own gun."

He let out a deep belly laugh. "You aren't gonna sell team Steph very well that way. _Christ_, I don't know how you do this to yourself. Should I be expecting a phone call from her? I'm not arresting your grandma. She asked Shirley about our sex life last time we saw her."

I groaned, "I hope someone walks by the bathroom and thinks _you're_ off the deep end because that's what would happen to me. Morelli's mother already placed her phone call about the threat... she _told_ on me to my mother. Can you believe that? She went straight to death by shooting gallery."

"Smart woman." It was surprisingly silent on his end so I could only assume he had his hand over the speaker and was laughing his ass off. "I think I'll keep my day job and leave you two to the hard stuff."

"What about that girl? What's-her-face, the woman Morelli was supposed to be meeting."

"Carmen Sanchez? She's still completely MIA. We've looked everywhere for her too. She's the one aspect of the case that the department has been willing to take on."

"You guys suck. Okay, what about the second mystery man?"

"There's no trace of him. He's up in smoke too."

"You've been totally useless. I'm sending you my phone bill."

"Hey, don't make me call your mother."

"That's not even funny. It's way too soon to be making jokes about that. I still haven't listened to her messages. Do you think I could drop the tape by the station as evidence for a restraining order?"

"No way, I don't want your mother angry with me. You're on your own. I know I haven't been very helpful, but honestly what do you expect? He thinks like us so he's gonna know every strategy we'd use to find him. You're best bet is to look for those two missing people. He'll be looking for them too, whether it's to clear his name or, I dunno, kill them. We've tried though, Steph. I don't know what you can do that a bunch of us couldn't."

I nearly blurted out my nose, but even Eddie didn't know that secret. It's better for those who are in the dark to stay that way. The world is a prettier place that way. I thanked him and told him to say hi to his wife for me then hung up.

Eddie's idea was pretty good and since I didn't have any other ones, I decided to go with it even if he thought it was impossible. I wasn't sure who to start with though. I could pick up Carmen Sanchez's scent at her apartment and follow it, but someone had died there and I wasn't sure if the whole thing had happened because of her. It seemed like that she was the more likely path for me to get hurt. The mystery man had also been at the apartment, so I knew I would need to go there eventually. I would probably need a little time to prep myself for that though, a pint of ice cream would be the bare minimum.

I could talk to that boxer Ranger had mentioned. If he was close to Ziggy maybe he also knew Sanchez and the other guy. I finished off the turnovers and I made up my mind that Benito Ramirez was definitely my next step.

* * *

**Special A/N: Because I feel a little bad about making all you lovely readers wait, I have a little something extra for you! Reviewers will get a little one-shot (350 words) of the Ranger & Steph handcuff scene. It will eventually get posted to FF once I write more little moments that chose not to include, so don't worry if you don't wanted to review!**

**Next chapter will be meeting Ramirez and a huge step for Steph into the supernatural, probably. I haven't had a chance to start writing yet :(**


	5. Bitches and Boxers

**A/N: First things first, I'm now on summer break so you all can expect weekly updates at minimum. If for some reason it takes me longer, it's probably because I got distracted by a good book. Second things _ah_ second I suppose, in this chapter I warped a lot of what Evanovich wrote to fit my supernatural needs. A lot of it is subtle for the most part. Don't worry about missing anything, eventually Stephanie will comment back on everything. That's the magic of first person pov.**

**Once again, thank you for all the inspiring reviews, alerts, and favs. I responded to all of the reviews since I posted the last chapter. All of you should have gotten the little one shot. If you didn't, it's no big deal since it's actually been posted as it's own story now. Check it out, it's called 'It's Just a One Shot Away'. Even those of you who I sent it out to should be interested to know that I've added a Ranger POV as it was requested. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next installment of our BEA and her first FTA and brawl.**

**All of the characters you know and love were borrowed from the lovely Ms. Evanovich. They will be returned to her in due time. Maybe never since I'm having so much fun.**

* * *

Chapter Five: Bitches and Boxers

I WAS NOW the proud owner of a deep purple, nylon medium sized dog collar. I even splurged to get an engraved name plate that had my parents' address on it as well as my pooch name... 'Sugar Plum'. I made sure to put their address on it because if I ever got picked up, I didn't want to be fined for not being up to date on my shots.

It had been hard budgeting my purchase versus the need for comfort. I was concerned as to how scratchy nylon would be on my skin but I couldn't justify buying a leather collar when my current shoes had cost less. The animal department sales assistant had assured me that dog owners rarely complained about their dog's comfort. Like _that_ made me feel any better.

I was swinging the bag as I walked back to my apartment. Walking was growing old pretty fast in this heat, there wasn't much to entertain myself with either. People watching is usually fun but everyone else was smarter than me and inside soaking up their a/c. By the time I reached my parking lot, my shirt was drenched with sweat and clinging to my body. Maybe I could stun Morelli with my lack of personal hygiene long enough to cuff him. Sadly, that was my best plan so far.

I walked over to the Nova to store the collar in its glove box, just in case the car suddenly became usable and I needed it to be on hand. I also didn't want to hoof it back up the stairs if I made it to the lot and forgot the collar. I'd given up on locking the Nova. Honestly if someone wanted to steal it, they were welcome to the hunk of metal.

I did a double take when I noticed there was a bag sitting in the front seat. I checked to make sure the radio was still in the car before hesitantly dumping out the bag. Out came a can of motor oil, an orange and a piece of paper. In all my Tenton experience, people didn't do things out of the kindness of their hearts so I was still a little confused. I picked up the note and unfolded it. In bold block letters it read: Should get that fixed, Babe.

I scowled and looked around for any sign of Ranger. I was now glad that I reeked of sweat, just in case he was lurking. I didn't sense anyone though. I wondered how he found me. Had he followed me after our shopping trip or had he asked someone? I was especially curious about why he'd bought me a gift.

All of those hours with my dad in the garage paid off as I added the oil myself to the Nova. I'd been the son he always wanted every once in a while when I wasn't jumping off roofs or at funerals with grandma.

I picked the keys out of the glove box and tossed the collar in. The Nova started after some coughing and wheezing. I turned up the air conditioning, blasted the radio and basked for a few minutes. _So_ much better than walking.

I checked the page from the phone book that I'd torn out earlier while looking for an everything store within walking distance. I'd had to borrow my neighbor's phone book, mine currently lined Rex's cage. The gym I was looking for was on Stark Street. Stark Street was as different from the burg as it gets. There weren't cheerful homes and neighborhood parties there. Stark Street was where you went to meet dubious characters, in others words hos, drug dealers, kneecap busters, various other people you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley and apparently infamous heavyweight boxers. At ten-thirty in the morning the street was quiet, I still wasn't planning to head down any alleys though.

I would have missed the gym completely if it hadn't been for my enhanced vision. In small black letters Stark Street Gym was printed on the entrance's window. I wasn't sure how they attracted customers like that but they must have been all set if they had Ramirez training there. They most likely weren't losing customers to the crackhouse and nail salon that they were sandwiched between.

I found a parking space right across the street, lucky me! Before getting out, I thought back to the vague comments Ranger had made about Benito Ramirez. The gun, handcuffs and ten grand allowed me to shrug those thoughts off as I slipped out of the car and actually locked it. Now that the Nova was drivable, it was looking _a lot_ more desirable. I was also pretty sure being stranded on Stark Street wasn't on my things to do before I died... or was killed here.

I shouldered my sleek new purse, wouldn't want to forget that, and made my way across the street to the gym. When I'd gotten dressed this morning, it hadn't been a tough decision. Something comfortable and lightweight or something stuffy that would make me look nice? Frankly I didn't give a shit if Ramirez and company thought I looked gross, actually that might be preferable. The last thing I needed was to fight off a bunch of testosterone fueled males as I tried to get information out of them.

As my hand was on the door, the little hairs on the back of my neck rose and I involuntarily tensed. Something felt off and everything in me was responding to it. I held my breath and listened. I could hear grunts and weight equipment from inside but I could also hear a car running, which was odd because I hadn't seen any around when I'd parked. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed a vehicle parked down the street some. The driver appeared to be watching me, which was a little bit creepy. I wrote it off as someone waiting for a _special_ Stark Street service and forced myself to calm down.

I jerked he door open and stepped into the small foyer before I fixated on the mystery driver. Inside wasn't much better aesthetically than outside. I fought the urge to cover my mouth and nose as they were overwhelmed by the stench of manliness and ripe urine. It seemed few people here had discovered deodorant _or_ restrooms. The whitewashed exposed brick had been graffitied and stained with other substances, my first guesses were blood and piss.

It wasn't very exciting inside. I'd honestly been expecting to see some guys pummeling one another but there were just some men lifting weights. They looked as innocent as a bunch of sweaty, tattooed, meaty guys could look. I took a few steps towards them and suddenly all eyes were focused on me. They didn't look so harmless now. I took a step back, faltering under their stares, and took a deep breath to calm myself. Calmness wasn't coming to me, instead that deep feeling of wrongness settled in further. I took another breath and nearly choked when I realized what was wrong about this picture. The sweat and pee had distracted me and kept me from noticing that none of the men in the room had their own scents. Grandma Mazur sneaking up on me and scaring the bejeezus out of me after masking her scent with magic flickered through my mind before I forced my attention of the approaching men.

They were openly hostile and suspicious. I wished to go back in time to wear something a little more flattering, because leering would have _definitely_ been more preferable. Groped or gutted, it wasn't difficult to pick. There was no question that I was the odd man out, being that I was little, white _and _a girl. The men said nothing, just crossed their arms over their barrel chests and glared at me a few feet off.

I offered them a small wavery smile and clutched the handcuffs and gun through my purse. I wasn't a good enough shot to even get my gun out of the bag before they would be on me if things went bad. A horrible thought that the blood and urine belonged to unsuspecting guests suffocated me for a moment. I cleared my throat before I even attempted talking. "I'm loo- looking for Benito Ramirez?"

The biggest piece of muscle I'd ever seen stood up across the room. I hadn't noticed him before which scared me, I was used to noticing everything. I recognized him from when Mary Lou had dragged me to a fight with her on one of our girls' nights out. Ramirez looked even bigger and meaner than he had giving his opponent a concussion and broken jaw.

He stalked towards me stopping well within my personal space. His company of angry muscles suddenly looked a lot better and I began wishing I'd just questioned them no matter how useless they'd be. His cold, calculating eyes caught mine and kept me from backing away from him. "I'm Ramirez." His voice was gruff but he sounded very happy. His accompanying smile backed that up. The dead eyes and beaming smile had me mentally tucking my tail between my legs. There was no way this meant good things for me.

I cleared my throat again, "Hi, I'm Stephanie Plum. I was hoping that you-"

He took my hand and caressed it in lieu of a handshake, then pulled me toward him. I stumbled into his chest and my hand remained trapped in his. Ramirez dipped his head down to nuzzle my neck. Jesus Christ, _what_ was he doing? "Benito Ramirez," he nearly purred into my neck. I shivered in disgust and broke out in goosebumps.

He finally let me go and took a step back so he could look at me again. His eyes were hooded and his smile was predatory. I wasn't sure if he thought my shiver was because I was attracted to him or if I was totally creeped out. I got the idea that either would be okay with him though. Even after I'd seen him fight with Mary Lou, I had assumed he was boxing for sport. Now that I'd been nuzzled and terrified personally, I knew he was more about the pain and fear he was causing. Ramirez would enjoy the hunt but would revel in the kill.

I took a step back hoping to get my own airspace. His hand shot out and gripped my shoulder stopping my backward movement nearly as soon as I'd made the decision. My graze swept back to his and I managed to hold in my shudder this time. I quickly prayed that the insanity and evil I saw in his eyes briefly was just normal crazy agony seeking boxer stuff and that I hadn't found the demon Grandma Mazur and I had been so sure Mrs. Morelli had been.

His hand hadn't left my shoulder, his thumb however had started to rub my bare arm. A comforting gesture had never been more desecrated. "Stephanie Plum," he said as if enjoying the taste of it on his tongue. "What is it you _desire_ me for?"

Creepy, disturbing, yucky bastard. I tried to wrestle up my manners or at least a pleasant tone but they remained hidden so I went for pathetic and miserable, "I have a couple questions for you." I tried to maneuver my purse around his grip on my shoulder so that I could get him one of my cards without alerting him to my gun.

I looked up at him, silently telling him to take his hand off me but he just raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Need help, sugar?" I shook my head and reached blindly into the purse, feeling around for a business card. I pulled one out and stuck it in his other hand, careful to keep from actually touching him. He glanced my card over before pocketing it. I tried to remember if I'd included my address but I was too panicked to remember.

"What's a little girl like you doing apprehending fugitives?" He squeezed my arm a little before leering at me. "I could offer you a more interesting job."

I'd been feeling little a lot lately. Usually my 5' 7" frame makes me within the same height range of the person I'm with, but Ranger, Ramirez and the other gym patrons all towered over me. To make that even worse, I couldn't even count my slight Hungarian heft as a benefit. These guys were bulky but it was all muscle, and I was just a little flab. As sincere as I could manage, I told him, "Well that's generous, but this is sorta a family thing. But, um, I was wondering if you'd seen Joe Morelli recently or if you knew anything about him."

Impossibly his eyes hardened further before he shook his head in response. "Never met the guy. He shot my man Ziggy though, that's all I know of him."

I stood on my tiptoes to look around him to see the other men. He snarled and used the hand on my shoulder to push me back down. "I was just wondering if maybe they knew anything. Can I ask them?" I did my best to sound brave but it came out little more than a squeak. I hadn't anticipated how much more frightening his completely pissed off face was compared to his 'you'd make a nice snack' one.

I carefully kept my attention on him as he surprisingly humored my question and asked the others. They were silent and based on what I saw in my periphery, didn't react at all. He turned back to me and said, "They know nothing."

"There was rumored to be a witness to the shooting but he's disappeared. Have you heard anything about that?" I was hoping at that point that if he decided to end my life that it was like how Ziggy had gone. Ziggy probably hadn't even felt anything when his brains had painted the walls.

Ramirez just shook his head again and I didn't bother to bring up the others. Maybe he worked out with a gun jammed down his pants but I didn't want to risk it. If Ramirez decided I was no longer adorable, he'd probably end it with his hands.

I only managed my last question with the thought that this would be the last time I saw Benito Ramirez and once I had my answer, I could book it out of here with everything I'd come for. "It happened at Carmen Sanchez's apartment, do you know her? Has Ziggy ever said anything about her?"

Ramirez apparently decided the question and no answer part of my visit was over as he ignored what I'd said. He steered me toward some beat up chairs and pushed me down into one. "I'll go get you a soda," he told me as he started to walk away. Before he made it far, he hustled back and got right in my face. "Stay," he snarled then he walked off again.

There were big pane windows across from where I was _comfortably_ seated. I stared longingly at the Nova for a moment before noticing that I could see the car with the mystery stalker guy in it. He was still there. He wasn't nearly as still as he'd been when I was outside. He was moving around as if agitated. I still couldn't get a good look at him, he was mostly shadows.

Ramirez came back with a single can of Coke. He'd already opened it for me so when he crouched down in front of me and waiting for me to start drinking, I was hesitant. He wouldn't roofie me at the gym he was known for working out at, would he? I took a few tiny sips and gave him a panicked smile, "Thank you, it's cold. I really can't stay and drink though. I'm meeting my family for lunch, my mother _hates_ it when I'm late."

He didn't move, just gave me the predatory smile again and waited. I hadn't really lied yet, I tried to keep those to a minimum, but he clearly didn't know that my mother could probably take him on in the ring and win. "It's a bigger thing than just my mother, of course, which is why I can't be late. We're meeting some extended family at a diner. Sergeant Gazarra will be there. He's a personal friend of mine but he's also family, isn't that nice?" Shit, I was spewing anything and everything I thought of. I hoped if the lie didn't work, that at least the crazy talk and gleam in my eye put him off.

He rocked back on his heel and look me over before smiling even more frighteningly. "They'll understand if you're a late, after all, you're out catching criminals. _Relax_. Most girls would be honored to be treated by the champ."

Ohhh, this was bad. Stephanie didn't like _the champ_. Stephanie knew _the champ_ was crazy when he talked about himself like that. Stephanie wished Grandma Mazur would call up _the champ_ and threaten him.

"Look, thank you for the offer but I really can't. It's an important lunch meeting. I can't be late, they're waiting." I pleaded.

Ramirez dropped his smile and all signs of amusement drained from his face. "Don't lie to me. I gave you a chance," he bit out. There was no doubt that he was positive I was lying. I didn't get it. Everything about this gym was throwing me off. I could see now how the previous BEA for Morelli had ruptured his appendix, I was ready to jab mine with a pen.

I tried to fix my little lie issue by rambling, focusing on the police member of the family. "You can call Gazarra if you want. He really is family and I grew up as best friends with him. He won't be at the station right now though, because of lunch." I wished that I hadn't hocked my watch so that I could at least pretend to check the time as if I were late.

Ramirez yanked me back into his chest again, now wrapping an arm around me to hold me there. Like I _actually_ stood a chance of shaking him off. The close proximity and his scentlessness were making my blood run even colder.

"I only came here to ask you some questions. I _really_ can't stay, finding Joe Morelli is my first priority. If you can't help me, I really shouldn't dawdle here." It all came out a whisper. I was afraid if I spoke any louder that he'd catch my voice cracking.

"The champ can't let you leave yet, Stephanie Plum." He matched my pitch mockingly. "The champ just found you again and he's not done with you."

Um, what? What did he mean by _again_? Maybe he remembered me from that fight so long ago. Mary Lou and I didn't have good seats though, there was no way he'd actually gotten a good look at me from the ring. But maybe I could use this to get him to leave me alone... "I've seen one of your matches before, you know. Since I can't stay now, maybe I could catch you at another one?"

Ramirez glanced behind me, back toward the men who sounded like had gone back to their training and studiously ignoring me. I couldn't count on them for anything more than quieting my screams. He turned his attention back to me, "You'll attend. You're gonna be the champ's _bitch_." He stroked a worn finger across my face and leered. "The champ gets what he wants, when he wants it. _Always_. Guess what the champ wants from you _now_?"

He waited a few beats as if he actually wanted me to speak. I knew better than to fall into that trap though. The champ wanted his bitch's mouth shut unless it was for something other than talking. "The champ wants you to treat him nice, just like he treated you nice." The arm wrapped around my back dropped to my ass as he pulled me against him. He nuzzled my neck again and I felt his tongue flick out to lick my neck. I stiffened and tried to determine how hard it would actually be to grab my gun right now. I just had to grab it and shoot. I didn't even really need to take it out of the purse. I just needed to maim Ramirez and distract his goons long enough to get outside. Yeah that sounded good, too bad shooting the gun required me to actually pull the trigger.

"You're afraid of the champ, I can smell it." Oh, I bet he could. I could literally smell my pungent, sickly fear plus I was ready to pee my pants. He took a deep breath and let his eyes close in ecstasy. "Stephanie Plum doesn't need to fear the champ, he'll be gentle with _her_ the first time. She's special to the champ."

I desperately wanted to shift and run for it but that wasn't a possibility. I'd get trapped in my clothes and there were all those pesky witnesses. I couldn't let the situation get any more out of control though, no matter how terrified I was. I summoned up every ounce of nutsy Plum courage I had and stomped on Ramirez's foot. "Let go of me."

And he did let go, mostly because I'd shocked him though. I stumbled backward and then froze because I honestly hadn't expected him to let go either. We both regained our composure at the same time; I bolted for the door and he made a grab for me. I'm fast but his height advantage allowed him to catch up to me in no time. He caught the back of my shirt and I heard it tear as he tried to pull me to him with it.

Desperate fear made me act. I raked my claws down his face, surprised that unknowingly I had started shifting. I quickly tried to pull myself together and managed to keep from going coyote any further. I couldn't manage to retract what had already happened though, not that it appeared to matter. He didn't seem to notice that claws had sprouted from my fingertips as he roared at me. "_Nobody_ tells the champ what to do, especially not helpless little bitches!"

I heard the door open and someone slip in. Ramirez must have notice too as he took his attention off me long enough for me to shred the bottom of my shirt enough to unlatch him. I sprinted to the door again but didn't make it very for before I felt his hand wrapped him my hair. The shitty thing about hair is that it actually hurt when pulled and was physically attached to me so when he pulled, I was thrown to the floor.

The impact on the unvarnished wood had left me breathless and temporarily stunned, giving Ramirez a chance to straddle my body. In my fall, my purse had been flung several feet in the opposite direction so all I had was my own hands against his. I dug my claws into his thighs as far as I could and he just smiled insanely at me. Blood caked his face but I was horrified to notice that the wounds were closed. He'd already healed. I felt nausea sweep through me as I finally realized that this might be the end.

Just as I was getting ready to hurl my breakfast on Ramirez, I nearly went deaf from gunshots in the building. The thing about enhanced hearing is that sometimes it's a hindrance. The gunshots and their echoes were killing me. I pulled my claws out of Ramirez's legs, gave him one last swipe across the face, then covered my ears as best I could.

Ramirez ignored me as he turned blindly toward the shooter and roared again. He climbed off me then began making his way to the shooter. Glass shattered and rained down on me. I finally got with the picture and scampered up to my hands and knees. I carefully crawled over to my purse and pulled my own gun out with shaky fingers.

The shots ended once the shooter finished his clip. I took a moment to look around and noticed that the men were hiding on the other side of the gym behind the ring and Ramirez was on the floor bleeding from a _few_ chest wounds. I tried to stand and run for the door but my legs wouldn't support me. I felt a hand wrap around my arm and haul me up. I yelped and whacked the owner of the hand as hard as I could with my purse. The gun, handcuffs, beeper, hairspray and other purse necessities made my purse both dangerously heavy and an edge ridden safety hazard.

The hand gave its own yelp but didn't let go. It started muscling me toward the door and I put up as much a fight as I could considering I still couldn't stand on my own. "For Christ's sake quit fighting me, Stephanie." I knew that voice. I also knew that scent. _Hand_ belonged to Morelli, friggin' Joseph Morelli just saved my ass. "Come on, we need to hustle out of here. Chop, chop. Put those long legs of yours to use."

He pulled the door open and dragged me out after him still supporting the majority of my weight. My new backless shirt wasn't doing much to relieve the heat we walked into. I hoped wherever Morelli was taking me was shady, I didn't need to get a sunburn in some funky shape on my back to make me even more appealing. He probably would have left me here if he knew I was thinking about weird tans right now.

I checked over my shoulder t make sure no one was following us as Joe pulled me around a corner then down an alley. "We need to put as much space between us and that gym," he grunted. I thought about replying but my chest was burning from when Ramirez sat on me plus all the exercise Morelli was forcing on my noodle legs. I hoped it was just residual fear and adrenaline keeping me from walking and not the possible roofie in my drink.

We cut through some more alleys until he found an empty garage and we both ducked in. The chipped wooden pull-down door had been propped open with a tin trashcan. Morelli picked the can up and took it in with us letting the door close to hide us from anyone who happened to pass by.

I sat down on the cracked concrete and began thanking every higher power I could think of that I'd made it out alive and unraped. Sometime between leaving the gym and entering the garage, I had also lost my claws. Wouldn't that have been fun to explain to Morelli? I wiped Ramirez's blood on my hands onto my shorts before I picked glass from the cuts on my knees.

Morelli said nothing as he stood by the grimy windows watching the street. I could hear sirens approaching the gym. It probably would have been in my best interest to hang out closer to the gym so that I could alert the police to Joe's involvement and maybe get them to catch him for me. I was feeling pretty fond of Morelli right now though, since he saved me and all. I'd consider this his karmic free pass and I vowed the next chance I got, he was going down.

The sirens died down and Joe finally turned his gaze back to me. His face was tight with anger, concern and stress. I wondered how much of it was caused by me before giving him a pathetic finger wave. He crouched down next to me and looked me over. "How much of that blood is yours?"

I absently rubbed at my fingers. "Just the stuff on my knees and that's _your_ fault. Ramirez hadn't drawn blood yet." I shivered as I thought about what Ramirez likely had planned for me and I hoped like hell that Morelli had killed him.

"Good, maybe that will keep you from doing something else stupid like going back." He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned before sitting down heavily next to me. "Please tell me what the hell you were thinking when you thought going in there was a good idea. I saw you hesitate before going in."

I sniffed angrily before answering him, "It wasn't just _my_ stupid idea. I talked to Gazarra and he suggested looking for Carmen or that other guy as a way to find you."

He dragged his hand down his face and gave me an incredulous look. "So you thought you'd try a method that even the police aren't following? Well that's _completely_ understandable."

"It worked, didn't it!" I sounded like a petulant two year old and I didn't care. "I found you. Or maybe you found me, stalker."

He smiled slightly before stifling it. "You're still playing bounty hunter?"

"I have business cards and everything now." I rooted through my purse with both hands. I grabbed a card and shoved it into his hands before pulling out my gun and jabbing him with it. "I think I've gotten better at it too. See, gotcha."

A lot of good the gun did me. Morelli tore it out of my hand and began looking it over. "It's real and everything." He whistled before emptying all the bullets out onto the floor. He suddenly look up at me with a pissed off scowl. "You could have saved your damn self instead of making me give myself away."

I was pretty sure telling him that it was too hard handling it with claws would be stupid but I also didn't want to confess that a few minutes of practice with Ranger had only made me even more sure I couldn't actually pull the trigger. Those few minutes of training had also taught me that there was no way I'd be able to reload the gun in time to make it a formidable weapon against Morelli. He'd won this time, again. I sighed, "You're supposed to be under arrest. I have a gun and handcuffs, you're supposed to be cowering and let me take you in."

Joe snorted then handed me the gun back. I began collected the bullets he'd scattered around and tossed them back into my purse with the gun. "Wait, you have a permit to carry a concealed?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Of course I have a permit, not that it should matter to you. You're a fugitive, remember?" I hadn't even printed out a picture of one on a public access library computer, although I wasn't sure if the one Ranger had given me would be any more legitimate.

He looked confused then suspicious. "Where'd you get one so quickly?"

"I don't know, Ranger got the permit for me. Just drop it, it's not like you can haul me down to the station to check it out."

"Ranger got it for you..." He looked like he wanted to strangle me for a moment. "Now I _know _it's not a real permit. He probably has his own little printing press in that fortress of his."

"If I get arrested for it, I'll be sure to have him bail me out then."

"How about you just quit while you're ahead and still in one piece for the most part. Leave Ramirez and me alone. Find a nice job as a hairdresser." He smirked at this. "Just- just leave Ramirez alone, okay? He's not someone you need to be messing with. He's been charged with rape three times and none of them have stuck because the victim always disappears. I saw how he looked at you. You don't want to be number four, Steph." Oh, so _this_ was what Ranger meant when he said I shouldn't mess with him. Why hadn't he just told me?

I wasn't sure how to deal with a concerned yet still condescending Joe Morelli so I just told him I'd keep what he said in mind. If I said anything more I was afraid we'd both end up trying to clobber the other.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he got up and peaked out the window again. I couldn't hold in my comment any longer "I'll catch you eventually for real. I'm pretty good at finding you, in case you haven't noticed. It's going to be hard swallowing all that ego when I do."

I got a nasty look from him. "It's not my ego that's the problem. You have no clue what you're doing and for some crazy reason I feel like I have to keep you from dying even though you're hell bent on sending me to jail. It's gonna be hard to save your ass from jail, sweetheart."

"I wouldn't have needed saving if it weren't for you! Plus I had a handle on the situation. Who says I needed your help at all? You better not be expecting me to say 'thank you'. I'll hit you with my car again before that happens."

He looked me over again and gave me a pitying smile. "Whatever's gonna help you sleep tonight." He turned back to the window and checked it one last time before saying, "It looks clear, we should get going."

I held out my hand so that he could pull me up. I was bruised, sore, cut and I didn't even want to guess what my hair looked like after the fight, heat and getaway. I limped my way after Joe on our way back to Stark Street. He was ever vigilant that we weren't seen, peaking around corners and darting into shadows. I was like an elephant trailing after James Bond.

There were no sign of police cars or ambulances so Morelli followed me across the street to my car. "Why aren't you heading on home in your own car by now?"

He ignored me for a moment and stood admiring the Nova. While it was left on its own, someone had torn off the muffler and tailpipe then flattened them into scraps of metal. The noise violation fines I might get were the least of my worries as the Nova was also sporting a new paint job. Inventive feminine swears covered every last inch of the thing, even the license plate had been painted over with 'pussy'.

I didn't care anymore. The orange still sat in the passenger seat and while it was no TastyKake, a little food was going to go a long way towards fixing my day. I unlocked the door and tossed my purse in then turned to glare at Joe who was still in awe of the Nova.

Together we glanced down the street at his own car, which hadn't been touched. He turned back to me with a shit eating grin. "Maybe it _is_ my lucky day. I just meant to be a boy scout and help you cross the street. Make sure you didn't trip and take a nose dive or anything, and instead I get to admire your new detailing. It looks nice, how much did the vanity plate cost you? I wouldn't have gone with the neon colors but then glow-in-the-dark isn't really my thing."

I growled at him. "If I were you, I'd run back to my car. I have a history of hit and run offenses and I'm going to be in my car with it running a _hell_ of a lost faster than you're going to be safe in your friggin' immaculate one. Don't put it past me to ram your car either! I've had a bad stinkin' day and this baby doesn't have airbags to stop me."

I nearly tore my door off opening it again. "Your mother told on me to my mother. I will get you back for that."

**

* * *

Ending A/N: This is actually the first chapter I've written that I'm not completely happy with, which is a huge bummer. Basically what I'm trying to say is that if you're disappointed or hated it, you're not alone. Ramirez is a creep and I didn't like writing him which made the whole chapter like pulling teeth for me.**

**The next chapter should have Stephanie stand off with her mother over Grandma Mazur's phone call and lots more bounty hunting _help_ from her in general.**

**As I mentioned in the beginning, I now have a new story for the one shots from _this_ story. It's called 'It's Just a One Shot Away'. I really enjoyed writing that shopping one shot but short stories aren't really my thing. If you'd like a scene from this story, drop me a PM or a review about it and I'm sure I can write a little something to post. Examples: Grandma Mazur's POV of dinnertime madness, a 'present' tense version of Stephanie's first encounter with the wolves, Connie's thoughts after meeting Stephanie etc. I'm open to just about anything as long as it's referenced in this story.**


End file.
